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Divorce/Separation :
Can I get taken back to court?

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 Running the Race (original poster member #19755) posted at 9:31 PM on Monday, June 16th, 2014

This question sometimes enters my mind. I thought I would explain my situation and see if anyone has had anything like this happen. I’ll be as brief as possible.

My EXW agreed to lower alimony and child support. As a result, I pay for all daycare, health ins, and just about everything else with the kids. Except when they are with her. She has to feed them. I’ve read that circumstances must have to change. The only change is that she has a better paying job now. But again, she did settle for much less and left me my house.

I pay all my child support and alimony a month in advance.

My question is, can my EXW decide she needs more money and take me back to court? If so, what would be her chances of success?

I just feel like life is a ticking time bomb and she can change her mind at anytime and come after me for more.

Thanks.

BS-Me (38)
FWW-(37)
3 Kids-
2009-She wants divorce
2009-2012 trying to R
2012-she wants a divorce again
2012-we are divorced
2013- trying MC to work it out, she does show some remorse, but I can't trust here anymore
2013- she moved out,

posts: 138   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2008   ·   location: California
id 6837791
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debbysbaby ( member #32962) posted at 9:48 PM on Monday, June 16th, 2014

If there's been a significant change in circumstances, she can take you back to court on the child support but if she is earning more money now that likely is going to hurt her and not help her.

If you guys are divorced then the alimony goes right along with the division of assets and that's done. She can't take you back on the alimony.

Edited to add that you can also go back to modify child-support automatically every three years in my state regardless of the circumstances and whether they've changed or not. It might actually be in your best interest to do so if she's earning more money that should make your child support less if you are in a state that uses the income shares model.

[This message edited by debbysbaby at 3:51 PM, June 16th (Monday)]

-betrayed almost my whole almost 15 yr marriage
-divorced since 2004

posts: 1025   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2011
id 6837813
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Dreamboat ( member #10506) posted at 10:05 PM on Monday, June 16th, 2014

often child care and health insurance is taken into consideration when calculating CS. Also, usually extracurricular expenses are split so if you are paying all of those then it may have an impact. If there as been a significant change in circumstances (I think most courts consider a 20% change in income to be significant, but I am sure it varies by jurisdiction) or at least 3 years has past, then CS can be reevaluated. In my state it is not automatic, one of the parents has to initiate the change.

I don't think SS can be changed.

Make sure you have detailed records of everything that you pay.

You may also want to look up a CS calculator for your state and see the standard calculation would be. But try not to worry because she would actually have to be proactive to get it changed. If she does, gather your documentation and get a L.

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

posts: 17695   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2006   ·   location: A better place :)
id 6837828
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devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 10:39 PM on Monday, June 16th, 2014

If she did take you back, then you say you want childcare, etc split from that point forward also. I'm willing to bet even if she did get it raised because she originally agreed to a lesser amount than the guidelines, the fact that she all of a sudden would have to pay half the childcare, health ins and everything else would even it back out.

BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.

WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.

posts: 5921   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2009   ·   location: Canada
id 6837880
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hoya96 ( member #28851) posted at 4:57 AM on Tuesday, June 17th, 2014

The short answer is yes, but whether she is successful or not depends a lot on the judge.

There needs to be "change of circumstances" but depending on the judge, that definition will vary. Ex took me back to court less than 2 years after our divorce - his change of circumstance? Marrying the OW. 😳

My lawyer didn't think the motion would even be entertained since he said usually that does not qualify. But my judge was new to the bench and let the hearing happen. 10 months and $15,000 in legal fees later, his motion to modify was settled.

(I agreed to some, but not all, his requests. He refused to budge on anything, so everything to had to go to the judge).

I know what you mean by ticking time bomb. I can't imagine I will make it until my youngest turns 18 without him taking me back to court.

Me: 43 and fabulous!
3 children ages 13, 15 and 17
Ex said he wanted separation 2/14/10
DDay #1: 5/23/10 18 month affair with his 22 yr old paralegal
DDay #2 9/22/10 my best friend, now his wife
Divorced: 12/10/10
Re-married a wonderful man.

posts: 345   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2010
id 6838307
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