she "wanted him to cheat on his wife with her show how much he wanted her."
Oh, ugggggh. I suspect this was a large part of my H's APs reason for having an affair. We were friends, and I think she envied me and our marriage to a large degree. (Not that we are perfect, but better than average.) So, it was a power thing, I am sure -- for her ego. Women do it all the time. Most of us get over that kind of thinking in high school, when our frontal lobes develop and we realize our behavior actually has an effect on other people.
So, I think many women are wired this way -- to seek validation outside themselves, and actually - my husband was too. He as enamored much more with the idea that someone wanted him, than the actual person. It had nothing to do with her. For women it is wanting that old, "I would do anything for yooooou" stuff - romantic stuff.
Thing is, when the rubber hit the road? He dropped her like a hot potato. So, all his AP got was a selfish, entitled, broken man who needed an ego boost and dropped her the second the fog lifted.
So yeah - it is all irrational.
[This message edited by bionicgal at 8:06 AM, June 18th (Wednesday)]