"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

PhoenixRisen posted 6/17/2014 12:08 PM

I just read this article about having acceptance when a job isn't working and that it is okay to walk away. I think this same philosophy applies to a M, so I wanted to share because many BS can view D as a personal failure. This quote from the article highlights why sometimes it is best to walk away .

If you are in a long-term dysfunctional environment, continuing to do the same job and putting up with the same crap is disastrous for you and people who depend on you at work and home.

The problem is that when you try to persevere, you are in survival mode and a personal hell. You just don't care about the quality of your work and results anymore

The idea of being in surviving mode really hit home for me- it was pretty much the majority of M, and now, after being D for two years, I can look back and see that: yes, it was hell. At the time I didn't stop to reflect about how I felt during M because I was so busy just trying to survive. Now, because everything is so much better, I can look back and clearly see just how awful it actually was. Still, it was very very hard for me to walk away. It ultimately took a point where my physical safely was jeopardized for me to move forward with D. I should have walked away sooner.

KeepOnMovin posted 6/17/2014 12:19 PM

I should have walked away sooner.

My biggest 'regret' is not finding my self-respect and walking away sooner. Codependency can blind you to what a toxic relationship is.

But like your UserName, PhoenixRisen i think we will all come out stronger and better people in the long run. at least that's how i'm choosing to move forward.

kodiak14 posted 6/17/2014 13:19 PM

Same for me actually. Now that I have filed I realize that I should have walked away a long time ago. Yes I agree walking away from a non working job is the same as leaving a broken marriage.

Still looking for a fast forward button though!

southsidecali posted 6/17/2014 18:00 PM

Part of healing from codependency is letting go of the outcome, it can get better because if that's the worst you already conquered it.

I am tired of always trying to prevent things from happening, because the other shoe will always fall.

It is so much easier to separate business vs personal but we have to look at it in that way sometimes for it to make sense to walk away.

For me it's been baby steps but the trip of a thousand miles starts with 1 step.