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sisoon posted 6/17/2014 16:43 PM

I hope your consultation with the lawyer went super well.

Why are you looking at a text during IC????? IC is a place and time to work on yourself. A text is an interruption.

I'd really like to see you reframe what you're doing. You see yourself as being pushed into D by a W who has some power over you. You could see yourself as accepting reality and choosing to D rather than stay in a terribly painful M with a woman to whom you've given too much power over you.

You call yourself a Samurai. If you really aspire to that, read a lot of Zen, a major principle of which is detachment.

And remember:

D - don't
E - even
T - think
A - about
C - changing
H - her.

[This message edited by sisoon at 6:11 PM, June 17th (Tuesday)]

LostSamurai posted 6/17/2014 17:42 PM

Thanks everyone. The IC/MC recommended I go see a mediator so I don't have to worry about all the fees. SO I am in the process of finding one and scheduling an appointment for Thursday.

Schadenfreude posted 6/17/2014 17:46 PM

The fees are cheaper in the long run than supporting her a@@ for years in a dead M. A mediator can work. Just understand they don't care what the deal is as long as there is a deal. You still have to fight for your own interests.

brokenblackbird posted 6/17/2014 19:04 PM

ICs are great people to talk to when sorting out emotions, but I wouldn't take legal advice from them. Just like I wouldn't try to get emotional support from my lawyer, but they are GREAT for legal advice!

You think you can mediate with a woman who can't be half-assed to remember a counseling appointment? Don't get screwed. Get a lawyer.

tushnurse posted 6/17/2014 19:22 PM

I respectfully and heartily disagree. Your wife has shown tones of NPD and she will make your D a nightmare and leave you with nothing if you use a mediator.

She will screw you over and make it all your fault. No WAY See a lawyer. Protect your rights your retirement and your rights as a father.

Chicky posted 6/17/2014 20:52 PM

Agreed. Whatever fees you pay now will be a drop in the bucket compared with what you most likely will end up paying by using a mediator.

Thinkingtoomuch posted 6/17/2014 22:09 PM

So sorry about this painful day, LostSamurai.

I agree with using a lawyer instead of mediator, from my take on these boards.

Good luck going forward.

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