A wound can be stitched shut, but it decides when it will heal on its own.
within 1 week from dday i changed email accounts and cell phone. I had the same contact info for 12 years. All casualties of my A.
I'm beginning to think this has nothing to do with me and everything to do with him
This is absolutely correct. His A has nothing to do with you, and yours has nothing to do with him. This is a step in the right direction.
Also, if he is still trying to contact you he is still engaging in wayward behavior. That does not mean you have to reciprocate wayward behavior. You can only control you. So take actions for yourself and your BS. and make sure that you are informing your BH of any break of NC.
Your XAP and what he is doing with his BS, has nothing to do with you. That is for them. That is their lives. You almost sound hopeful that he doesn't want R with his BS. and that he would choose you instead. You need to let go of those thoughts and feeling to have true R with your BS.
ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)
I do not PM with Women