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JustWant2BHappy posted 6/19/2014 12:55 PM

My affair was more of an EA. Although, it started to go into PA (we kissed on many occassions). My BH still is not believing in this and questions if it was more of a PA then I have admitted, which I continue (probably every other day) to try to be consistent and assure him it didn't.
So we had a wonderful evening, both really trying hard to make the "mood" romantic, etc. I thought it was very special and brought us close. The next mornign he woke up and was in a terrible place. Was thinking about the affiar, etc. Told me that he was thinking my "V" "Girl Parts" felt tighter and that he was thinking that meant that maybe he used a dildo on me. To that I was completely disgusted and taken aback, upset, etc. He said he was happy that I was upset, it made him feel better.
Just when I think we take a step forward we take a blow like this... its a tough road ahead..

dana47 posted 6/19/2014 13:09 PM

That is a childish way to get "revenge". If he has something to say he should engage in conversation.

timidhope posted 6/19/2014 19:21 PM

I sincerely hope he felt "happy" with your repulsed response because it can be an indicator of honesty in what you claimed (that there was no intercourse)...

I'm sorry to hear that. It's hard to absorb in that kind of hurt. There's no denying it's a tough road ahead, I wish you continued strength.

authenticnow posted 6/20/2014 05:38 AM

The good news is, the two of you are having romantic nights and intimacy. He shared his feelings with you. He's doubting your story and he's devastated over your cheating. He spoke his true feelings to you. His words are going to hurt. He's in pain, you're at the beginning of the very long process of picking up the pieces...these tough conversations are going to happen.

If he's glad you're in pain take it for what it is. He's probably relieved to see that he hurt your feelings because that's telling him that you still care about the marriage. Or he's just happy to see you in pain because of the pain you caused him. Either way, those are his honest feelings at the moment.

Keep talking and communicating. You're right, this is a very long road.

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