I've been married almost 10 years but we've been together 18 years. We have two beautiful children together.
My mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer recently and her health was going downhill quickly. My husband was very supportive and suggested that we remove the kids from school and I return home to spend time with my family. Our family lives two provinces away. After being away for 3 weeks, I noticed my husband became distant and didn't seem to have time to talk to us. I kept questioning him about this and he kept denying and saying everything was fine. He talked to me in the past about a female co-worker and when I would question him about her, he would always say I had nothing to worry about, she was married and besides he loved me only.
One morning almost 3 weeks ago, he called and I could tell something was wrong by the tone of his voice. He started to cry and say he missed and loved me so much. I was shocked by his behaviour and re-assured him that he would be out in a few days to see us. He really started to cry and said I don't want to see him and I would hate him. I knew in my stomach that something was wrong. He then told me that he cheated on me with this co-worker. She had performed oral sex on him. He said he had no idea how it happened, he was feeling really lonely that night and she called asking to meet up to give him the money she owed him. Once he met her, she invited him to go have a drink with her at the bar (which he clearly knew I would never approve of). After the 2 drinks, they went to her car to have a smoke and she started talking about her unhappy marriage. He said the next thing he knew she was kissing his neck and then started to perform oral on him. She then invited him back to her house for sex. My WH claims he snapped out of his fog and told her no because he was married and loved me. He claims she then proceeded to beg him to stay and she promised she would never tell me. He said he started to get upset with her and raised his voice and tried to leave. He claims she told him not to say anything to me that no one needed to know. My WH claims he became very irate with her and told her that he could not lie to me and loved me.
I was devastated when I found out. Not only am I taking care of my dying mother but now I have to deal with this. I did not tell my mother because she was already worried that she would cause a riff in our marriage. During my husband's confession which was the following morning of his betrayal, he said he had been feeling really lonely and scared for a while and told me a secret from his childhood that he had kept to himself and how the past 6 months it had played in his mind.
He no longer has contact with this girl. We have decided to try and work on our marriage. He has agreed to counselling for himself, which he is waiting on a call from his counsellor today. We will then attend counselling together. I have advised that we will be moving back to the same province as our family and he is not to be alone with any female unless I know her and I am comfortable with her. He has been honest about the affair and made it clear that it was him and nothing to do with me.
I am lost because he was my best friend my rock and he has hurt me deeply. Thank you for listening, I just needed to vent a little.