Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: drummerwife (46039)

User Topic: Testing Results
simplydevastated
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok. We had the appointment to go over the results. There's a lot of information that I still have to read and make sure I understand them.

She said he does have dyslexic traits, but it doesn't carry across the board. She said he tested superior in some parts and below average in others. She said if he reads something quickly he has a hard time with short term memory and being able to recall what he read which leads to his problem of not being able to put down on paper what he does know. She also said that he scored excellent when something was read to him, that he could recall everything that was said to him.

This part I have to be careful with because I don't want to make the mods move the thread and make more work for them

She said that he has a lot of anxiety, especially towards adult male figures. Part of his (or most of his) anxiety is from his father. He tells him anything below an A is unacceptable, he compares him to his friend's children who are honor students, received scholarships, and are all going to school to be doctors. He has also been coming out with violent thoughts as in "This kid does xyz and it's so annoying I want to punch him." He said that he wouldn't act on it, but the thoughts are there which is concerning.

She said because his anxiety is filtering down to his school work it's hard to say what the "true" issue is. She is recommending that he have an IEP in place "incase he needs it."

This ties into my thread in General and now I feel that I waited too long and I messed him up. If we left earlier would he be all right now? If we leave now how will it affect him? There's days where he runs up shouting "Daddy! Daddy!" and my husband says "what's up bud?" Then there's times like Father's Day weekend when he's so mean and nasty to him. I'm so confused.

Sorry mods. I hope I didn't just make more work for you


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 3:52 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not a mod, so I'll let them answer to that.

Please please please know that you didn't do ANYTHING wrong here. None of us are the perfect parent. You have always put your kids first, and you've been put in a very bad position.

I hope that the woman who made the assessment has documented everything she said to you.

It's good that you're getting DS help now. You're doing a GOOD job.

(((SD)))


"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16


Posts: 18700 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
simplydevastated
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you.

She told me that I can call her anytime and she would be happy to speak to anyone on DS10's behalf.

My husband seemed to blow it all off.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Bjoycen
♀ 29808
Member # 29808
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds as if his auditory memory is much higher than his visual memory. In the IEP, I hope he will be able to have his textbooks on tape or CD.

Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2010
tushnurse
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, June 21st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think overall you have great news here. He's got a bit of a learning issue but certainly something that can be worked with.

As far as the anxiety goes, it's safe to say when there is no longer that constant tension in the home he will be much better. I had a good friend that had parents that were in a really bad M. He was noticeably better after they Dd. He was able to really feel happy and not filled with the dread of what's happening at home.

You are doing the best you can with what you have.

(((And strength)))


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8898 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Bluebird26
♀ 36445
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:24 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you had your child assessed by a behavioural optometrist? Just a thought.

My DS has lots of issues. Had his eyes tested by a 'normal' optometrist, he has better then 20/20 vision. His OT suggested a behavioural optometrist. Went to see one and they do a whole range of testing and test how the eyes work together rather then separately. It was found that DS had trouble reading pages that had several lines of text he was jumping all over the place and couldn't recall what he had read. Some special glasses and eye exercises and testing every 6 -12 months by the behavioural optometrist and his vision and reading/recall have improved immensely, he no longer needs the glasses and is now well above his age for reading & spelling. Might not help your DS but might be worth trying.

Please don't blame yourself. You will get through this and your DS will know you support him 100%. My DS has anxiety issues with his father as well it causes so much stress for all of us. But he knows without a doubt that I am in his corner 100% of the time. Your DS will know this too.

((SD)) it's hard work.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1409 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This sounds a lot like my son who now has an IEP in place. The "school diagnosis" is "Specific Learning Disability" (SLD), the "medical diagnosis" is dyslexia. It is a processing disorder in the memory, and my son's is pinpointed in the short-term memory.

His IEP allows almost everything to be read, and scribed (written for him). Next year in 3rd grade, he will begin to use word processing and recognition software (like what is on our cell phones...auto correct).

They also mentioned an anxiety disorder, but I really don't see too many signs of one. He is stressed about school because he is social and not doing well...THAT was causing anxiety. His Dad is mostly clueless and stupid with no boundaries, but I keep a sharp eye on how DS is handling everything. I'll probably put him in therapy by next year (as a 9 year old) when he can process his emotions a bit better.

We also have to do summer school, or "extended school year" ESY with all of his accommodations in place. He hates having to do more school...but I tell him he has to work harder than other kids and we are still learning how his brain works.

Overall, his reading is improving. I may have him tested for ADD, but I think most of what we are seeing is the learning disability and the problems surrounding that.

You did the right thing. I hope your school helps you because getting on an IEP here was an act of Congress. If we didnt' have the dx of SLD, then he wouldn't have qualified. A "just in case he needs it" wouldn't fly here. It needs to say, "HE NEEDS IT." As his teachers told me, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease."


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4284 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.