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Newest Member: Sweetamyj (61481)

User Topic: give it time
♀ 41463
Member # 41463
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello all. I just wanted to drop a quick line to the newbies that have joined the club no one wants to join. I'm sorry you are here but you are in the right place. This place and the people here were a Godsend for me during the worst days after d day. You know, when you cant eat, cant sleep, and cant stop replaying scenarios in your mind. When you obsessed over the future, replay the past, and find yourself hyperventilating at 3am or sitting on the floor of your shower crying and mentally begging God or some Higher power to just stop your heart. (It ain't pretty but it happens)? I thought there was no way I was going to make it. I thought the people doling out advice and telling me that it gets easier over time, that my nausea would lessen, that my appeitite would return, and most absurd at the time -that I would laugh again were out of there ever loving minds! But - I am here to tell you they were right! I am by no means 'out of the woods ' but I see
the light and am walking towards it. I found.out about my husbands affair with my one time best friend just before thanksgiving. She had been after him for over a year but she is an ugly person inside and out (no lie) so I thought I had nothing to worry about (trust your gut). When busted they decided that they were in luuuurve and to hell with their families (my 13 yo had been best friends with her son for 6 years). Our families had been so close. Anyway I was devastated. All I could think about was that this wasn't happening. 14 years of marriage and this is how it ends? I needed people to reassure me that it would never last btw them Bc in my mind they didn't deserve happiness. I was told a true relationship cannot be founded on lies and that whatever luuurve they felt was the result of putting their best sides on display and illusion. They were right. I received so much support from this website. It was my touchstone and sometimes my wake up call. 6 weeks to the day after dday my husband asked to come home. We are still trying to navigate these new waters and its not easy.I know I may very well end up divorced. Infidelity is huge. Life changing. I hope we make it, but if we dont I finally believe that I will be fine. I have finished all of the prerequisites to change my BA to a BSN and I start nursing courses in January. I just wanted to say to all of the JFO 's - hang in there. Post often. Drink water, drink Boost shakes if you cant eat, and sleep when you can. It does get better even though it seems like the agony will never end. Read the healing library. Know
that this wasn't your fault. I wish you all the very best!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: United States
♀ 43064
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another great post. Thanks for giving some hope. I just started working out at my club again and that in itself is really helping my mind. At least we can work on our bodies and our health while going through this hell.

Him: WS, 51 EA/PA 2.5 years
D Day 3/10/14 N/C broke (phone/email) 6/14-10/14
Me: BS 52
OW: Banana Republic whore
Status: R or D Praying for answers
Betrayal: so painful it should be a crime - 12 months in prison.

Posts: 274 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: State of Distrust
♂ 42231
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 10:51 PM, June 20th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post and advice Jules1111! This is the best club you never wanted to be a part of, but like you said, it does get better.

"Character is the ability to follow through on commitments that were made in moments of high resolve even when we no longer feel like it." Carl Andersen

Posts: 3112 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
♀ 40306
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, June 21st (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is the best club you never wanted to be a part of

Amen to that.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

Posts: 5600 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 4

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