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Lili0828 posted 6/21/2014 11:53 AM

I found out a few weeks ago my husband had sexual contact with a co-worker one time. I do believe him as he was very remorseful after it happened. We have decided to work on our marriage and go to counselling. We have been together almost 18 years but married almost 10. We have two beautiful kids.

I'm wondering if I can get some understanding from the other side to help me help my husband. He was diagnosed with a depression recently and he's having a hard time accepting what he's done. When he confessed that morning, he also gave me information about something that happened in his childhood that I was not aware of. I am hurt by what has happened but I would like to support him also. He is going for counselling this week to talk about these issues. He hates himself so much right now and he is no longer sure of anything. He's worried that the reason he cheated is because he doesn't want to be married. He says he's just not sure of anything and doubts himself. He said he loves me but not sure about himself. I told him that he needed to figure out what he wanted because I couldn't be left dangling and waiting, that maybe he should let me go. He became agitated and kept saying he wouldn't let me go. He believes he's a bad father and just blames and hates himself. I've made it clear to him that this is between us and he's an excellent father. My kids adore their father. He's been a good husband too, except for this. He's been my rock when I needed the support.

Is this normal behaviour? Is there anything I can do to help him? Even if things don't work out for us, I want him to be happy.

Deeply Scared posted 6/21/2014 12:41 PM

BS's are not to start threads in the forum, please read the forum description.

You may re-post your question in the ICR forum under the BS Questions for WS's thread.

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