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Newest Member: lelule (46059)

User Topic: coworker
Unagie
♀ 37091
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I work from home so have never met any of my coworkers face to face. We have a chat environment and as per my own boundaries I chat with a couple of women about extracurricular things and men only about work. If they ask a blunt personal question I either ignore it or if its general info will be honest and that's all. There is one male coworker, he's met up with a couple of other coworkers since he travels and is now coming to my state. He is gay and very open about that calls everyone boo or something similar. He wants to meet for coffee to meet me in person. I said maybe and that if I did my BFF would be with me. To be honest im not comfortable with it. He's a generally nice person and I don't want to be rude and I don't want my personal business out there. How do I decline without coming off looking bitchy or paranoid?


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"There are times when our reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind." Patrick Rothfuss


Posts: 2813 | Registered: Oct 2012
Jrazz
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:08 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How long is he going to be in your state?

If it's a week, I'd claim that you were remoting in from somewhere other than your current location.

That is, after your first decline. Maybe start with, "I'm so sorry, but I'm completely booked during that time period - even for coffee. I hope you can find something fun to do in the area."

Then, plan B if he pushes.


"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Me: BW 35
Crazz: WH 33
Daughter: 4.5 Going on 16


Posts: 18703 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:11 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Unagie,

Are you still with your bf? I'm asking because I'm wondering why you're uncomfortable getting together with a co-worker, male or female? I would think that working from home can be isolating and I know you struggle sometimes. I'm thinking that maybe socializing with co-workers might be good for you and wondering why it would be inappropriate if you're single.

And if you don't want your personal business out there, you can just share what you choose, keep it light, just have fun!

(I could be totally off base...just a thought )


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 39005 | Registered: Sep 2007
Unagie
♀ 37091
Member # 37091
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel like I shared too much when I was in my A and allowed myself to get close to too close to a male coworker. I need to shore up my boundaries until im 100% sure on them. I hate that I need to do that. As for ex and I, I don't know what we are to each other but my decisions are based on what's good for me. Iy is isolating though and if it was a female coworker I'd be all for it. I used to think I was just friendly but after my actions I second guess everything.

JRazz that sounds good. I'll probably end up using that.


Heartbroken madhatter trying to rebuild

No longer together

"There are times when our reality is nothing but pain, and to escape that pain the mind must leave reality behind." Patrick Rothfuss


Posts: 2813 | Registered: Oct 2012
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, June 22nd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for explaining


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 39005 | Registered: Sep 2007
Topic Posts: 5

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