SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

I feel so bad for him

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

Sleepingbeauty posted 6/22/2014 07:35 AM

My wh, stbxh has a feeling things afe not going to work out with his ap. it just breaks my heart to hear that actually I could have told him that. she is a real peace of work. i hired a private detective and know so much more about her than he does.
She likes destroying marriages, hers included. This will be number four for her. he is finding out things all by himself. He keeps telling me how unhappy he was in the past few years in our marriage and he is already having issues in just a few months with his future. I could just cry for him

Holly-Isis posted 6/22/2014 07:54 AM

Poor baby.

Do me a favor and next time tell him that unless it's about kids (if you have any) and finances you're not listening. You no longer have the job of listening to his poor widdle feewlings.

NeverAgain2013 posted 6/22/2014 09:24 AM

Well, you're a better woman than I, because I'd be laughing my ass off watching the train wreck slowly unfolding right in front of me.

Ain't nothing quite as entertaining as watching someone get what's coming to them.

Sounds as though your husband is setting you up for an, "I want to come home" request. I'd rather have my gums set on fire but I'm funny like that.

[This message edited by NeverAgain2013 at 9:25 AM, June 22nd (Sunday)]

Gemini71 posted 6/22/2014 12:06 PM

The question is, Do you want your WH back? Are you content to be Plan B? What would he need to do to earn his way back home?

If none of these are an issue for you, then his heartbreak is none of your business. He certainly didn't care when your heart was breaking. Yes, AP is a piece of work, but he chose her, not you.

LivinginLimbo posted 6/22/2014 12:11 PM

I think it's time to call the WHAAAmbulance. It's clearly an emergency.

heme posted 6/22/2014 12:13 PM

I would have laughed in the middle of him telling me that. What goes around comes around.

h0peless posted 6/22/2014 12:15 PM

You reap what you sow.

MakingMyFuture posted 6/22/2014 16:41 PM

Seriously, if you need someone to feel sorry for, there are millions of children, animals, and environmental issues that could benefit from your generous heart. With regard to your WH, Don't waste your empathy on someone who isn't even coming close to getting exactly what they deserve.

Jomarion posted 6/22/2014 17:46 PM

I wish I had had the courage you had to separate/divorce him when he cheated. I sometimes fantasize if I hadn't pleaded begged for him to come back, he'd be with her now and in a big heap of you-know what. When you love someone though, it is hard to see them sink, even if it is their own doing, and even if there is also pleasurable revenge-feeling as you see them sink.

Sleepingbeauty posted 6/23/2014 19:29 PM

I actually wanted him to get what he deserves and I think she isit.

I can't believe that he would even tell me, like I really care. He tells me things that you would tell a friend and after 28years I think he may miss that part of our m

Ostrich80 posted 6/23/2014 22:36 PM

I'm trying to tell if your being sarcastic or if you really do feel bad for him. I probably would too but I'm trying to work that out of me. He made his bed......

shatteredheart12 posted 6/24/2014 04:18 AM

I can understand why you feel this way, after all, he is the man you love. You didn't cheat, your feelings didn't change.

He is the one that did this, he is the one that brought this all on himself. It is a hard road, that's for sure.

It is hard seeing the one you love making horrible choices, living a life so different from what you believed he wanted. He has become a different person.

Accept that you feel bad for him and let it go. He doesn't deserve your sympathy, at least he doesn't need to know that you have sympathy for him

He has to work this crap out on his own, you cant help him, he cheated and he shouldn't be laying all his problems on you, you cant be his friend right now

My wh did the same thing, moved in with OW the day after I kicked him out, so many similarities to your story. But by him sharing stuff with you, it makes you wonder who the hell he is, why he would put up with the crap from her.

NC has finally worked for me, only took me 2 1/2 years, but it is so freeing and peaceful for me now, I still find out some stuff about them but I don't call or text him anymore, I don't want to hear how unhappy he is, Im not his friend or his mother, I am his wife who he cheated on. I am the one that was tossed aside for some homewrecker.

Feel bad for him, vent here, but as for being his shoulder to cry on, that is only hurting your recovery. It is ok to love him but you cant let him continue to hurt you. He chose to cheat, he doesn't get to have you as a friend to tell his problems to.

Stay strong

Lalagirl posted 6/24/2014 06:59 AM

I think it's time to call the WHAAAmbulance

...and the WHOREbulance. He's her problem now...she can be his rescuer...good luck with that, OW!

Sleepingbeauty posted 6/24/2014 06:59 AM

I am partially sarcastic(big part).I do also feel sorry for him but not much.
I am working on me and I know to see him his toxic tome. We don't normally speak but he came up for my father's funeral. My whole family was shocked and many thought he was arrogant, others thought he had balls, some thought after 28 years it was the right thing for him to do.
me I just think he is crazy and added so much extra stress to me.

He told me that his whore tried to stop him from coming but that he felt that it was the right thing to do. At least he didn't bring her. We were really afraid hemight have stashed her in his hotel room. He didn't, good for him him otherwise he may have gotten an old fashioned beating.

He has asked our son to meet her already. I know he just looks like my husbandbut it's like seeing an empty soul.

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.