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completely honest for the first time in my life

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Unagie posted 6/23/2014 05:28 AM

After my A and confessions I started the hard work of recovery and am still there. I realize the past couple of years have been the most honest of my life. When i was in IC my therapist tried to steer me away from talking only about the A and I found it so hard to do that. We focused at one point on what brought self destruction as a solution to my depression and issues. That was possibly my hardest session with her, I crashed hard when I got home not because of what I discussed with her but because of what it unleashed in my head. I started being truly honest with myself about my childhood, my iprbringing and what certain things shaped me into without my acknowledging it. I spend a lot of time with my thoughts and this is the first place ive ever truly shared every honest thought that comes to me good or bad because I was used to always looking my best or wanting some kind of attention. It took a lot to see what made that a need for me and ive figured out some of it. Most of it is hard to admit or come to terms with but I think in the end i'll be better for it.

authenticnow posted 6/23/2014 05:38 AM

Good for you, Unagie. You are very strong and brave. An authentic life will be worth all the hard work you are putting in now. It takes many people (myself included) a lot more years to get to the honest place that you are at now.

It's wonderful to watch you in this process.

OK now posted 6/23/2014 08:59 AM

Honesty is so painful sometimes and delusion so comforting. By facing up to the truth I think you have become a better person shaped by reality.

I truly hope you find happiness; I have followed your threads for months and I agree with AN; you have been strong and brave. Change isn't easy but you are embracing it with courage.

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