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question for a friend about boundaries

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Alyssamd24 posted 6/23/2014 09:01 AM

This is a question I have about a friend. ..its not really related to an A but is about boundaries so I thought the WS could help....please mods feel free to move it though if need be.

My friend (that I work with) has a client who recently sent her a text telling her she has all these feelings for her and looks forward to seeing her...she thinks she s beautiful and wonderful. She said in the text she had to get it off her chest. My coworker responded saying thank you but her priority is her clients and she wants to remain professional.

My friend is now unsure what to do....she doesn't know whether or not she wants to go back to the house and doesnt know how to handle the whole thing.

somethingremorse posted 6/23/2014 10:10 AM

One thing we can tell her is the whole basis of Not Just Friends. Starting down that road, even in a friendly, professional relationship, is filled with danger.

I know that lots of people can be in an environment like that and never have anything bad happen. But we know that the best intentions, that the strongest moral convictions, that even religious beliefs, can weaken to the point where they crumble.

Like I said, every situations is different. But what I said is the story that the people here can share with her.

timidhope posted 6/23/2014 10:35 AM

Since the friend had made it clear that she is only interested in a professional relationshipand did so politely, why is there the internal conflict? Does she believe the client is the type to react badly to the response or has the client exhibited behavior that may be dangerous to your friend?

If the client is uncomfortable they can request to work with someone else... or your friend can make that judgment as well. The way it sounds right now, it seems like there's something funny about the client or your friends true wishes about the relationship.

Alyssamd24 posted 6/23/2014 11:49 AM

My friend is concerned because the client is not entirely stable and has a rough background. ....and she is also just worried it will be awkward.

timidhope posted 6/23/2014 12:35 PM

Personal safety trumps being overly polite for sure. I wonder if your friend is feeling guilty since it may not be the "nicest" thing to walk away from this client. Regardless, if she's feeling this way with background knowledge that tends to support her concern...she can still be professional by recommending another colleague if appropriate?

The client made a decision to send that message and if the consequence is that your friend now feels uncomfortable, then that's it. At least your friend is being kind in responding politely and not sending mixed signals.

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