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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: OW's a mean girl and WH allowed it...
feelingfoolish
♀ 22804
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are in R--it's a bumpy road. I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that OW was a mean girl to her core.

She pranked called me, FB'd me, emailed me, her family harassed me by phone and driving by my house. I was already dealing with the A and with this crap added to it , made it unbearable.

I am now finding myself getting upset that WH didn't get his OW under control. He allowed all of that hateful behavior to take place and even on occasion defended it.

Sometimes, I look at this factor alone and wonder what the hell I am doing trying to salvage this marriage.

Thanks for letting me vent.

[This message edited by feelingfoolish at 12:23 PM, June 23rd (Monday)]


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
Ostrich80
34827
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would have a really hard time with this. He's not still defending her, is he? This makes my blood boil that this ow harrassed you. I don't have any advice unless its still happening, in that case I would file a report, change numbers, lock down any social media I had. She sounds like an immature littke bitch. Were all of the DD's with her?


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5276 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Lark
♀ 43773
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She was doing this during the A or after it was found out?

I'd take out a PO against her. Your husband can't control her actions, but he sure shouldn't be defending her! He should be doing what he can to put a stop to this!


“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Dumbledore

Posts: 1063 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
feelingfoolish
♀ 22804
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH defended her during their A. And she was doing all that crap during their A.

I hate the person that this A has turned me into.

And yes, all the DD's were with her. And that in itself makes me angry at my decision to stay and work on it. How many F'n DD's does there have to be for me to get some self-esteem?

[This message edited by feelingfoolish at 1:05 PM, June 23rd (Monday)]


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
Godsgirl
♀ 27521
Member # 27521
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whats your WH saying now?

Hell yeah you should be pissed!! Thats a lot of disrespect to swallow.

The only thing that has helped me as far as hateful actions by the OW and a passive aggressive WH is the fact that the OWs must have been extremely jealous of me. And that makes me smile!!!

No one goes to such great lengths to be hateful unless they are extremely insecure and jealous. She knew she didn't measure up to you so she went on the attack. Imagine what she's feeling now that your WH chose you over her.

These are very petty thoughts but they help me get through the bad days.

And it was hard reconciling myself to the fact that I put up with so much and still stayed in the M.


Me-BS (41)
Him-SAWH (41)
Together 25 years, married 21 years
4 precious kiddos
Multi DDay's,False R
4 Ea's, 1 ONS, 3 STA's, & 2 LTA's & 1 OC

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!


Posts: 856 | Registered: Feb 2010
southsidecali
♀ 22752
Member # 22752
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Change numbers and block her. Make your wS face this crap he brought into your lives.

Have him answer and tell her to leave u guys alone, have him defend you as condition of reconciliation. Have HIM go and file restraining order against her that protects your family.

Send a cease and desist in writing to document, list out all the contact and if possible have screen shots or forward the texts to print.


Posts: 863 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: CA
feelingfoolish
♀ 22804
Member # 22804
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, there has been NC from OW since the beginning of the year. I have blocked her, her family on FB and the cell phones.

I had to get a PPO against her older sister, however for coming to my job threatening me on several occasions.

[This message edited by feelingfoolish at 1:53 PM, June 23rd (Monday)]


me-44y
H-45y M-12 yrs
2 DS-21,15

06.30.12-- full PA with 24y ho-worker
08.16.12 DDay #2-are you f**king kidding me?
R-??? trying
07.21.13-Dday #3-filed for divorce the next day
R #2-hopeful but cautious.


Posts: 526 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: emerald city, oz
Coma
♂ 29353
Member # 29353
Default  Posted: 2:01 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feeling


I know where you are Hon. Fww allowed one trick to invade our computer and set up control programs and change passwords. He even set up a hidden wifi and bluetooth connection that by passes my gateway. All i got from her was "he wouldn't do that" or " I don't know". I made the decision to just clean my system every week.

I understand the betrayal you feel.


BS-Me
WW-Her
"Love, look what you've done to me"

Posts: 465 | Registered: Aug 2010
deena04
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hold your head high; you are 100 times classier for not sinking to that level. Your WS should be ashamed for not defending you. Then again this whole deal just sucks.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
L-I-B-E-R-A-T-I-N-G ME

Posts: 1311 | Registered: Dec 2013
seethelight
♀ 43513
Member # 43513
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feeling foolish:

I had the same problem with the Married OW.

She did very similar and childish things.

She is still stalking me.

I can't believe her husband can't get her under control.


“If two people truly have feelings for one another then they don’t have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit

Posts: 1516 | Registered: May 2014
shygirl07
♀ 42972
Member # 42972
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This girl sounds deranged and psycho.. I had a situation similar to that .. with my ex he met some girl and claimed nothing happened but she did weird and rude things and called him and he said he " coudlnt stop her actions" it was blatant disrespct to me.. I would try to gather the strength you have in your core and leave this loser..


me:27
him:30
7 years together
no children

OW was his ex he always convinced was his friend .. moved in her and knocked her up , got together behind my back


Ddays : many in 2009 and 2010
final dday : Sept 2012 after being broken up 3 w


Posts: 73 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: CA
miadianna
♀ 10516
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 5:43 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is she married or has a boyfriend? This happened to me with the first OW who worked with him. She knew he was working in another state and every night she harassed me with phone call hang ups, and having mail sent to my house with in her name and our address. She called my house every single night he was away in the middle of the night to wake me up, then hung up. She knew I had small children and I was alone. I knew it was her but wasn't sure so I called the phone company and had back #67 installed on our phone. All of the phone calls went back to her number. My XH would not believe me, even after I had the proof. He defended the mail by saying it was a mistake and since she got his work car, the company accidentally put her name and our address on it. I never bought it. I finally called her boyfriend who didn't believe me either. I explained to him what was happening and he said "My Christine? Oh she wouldn't do that, we've been together 5 years!" I told him everything and he refused to believe it. My XH denied she was doing any of it and thought it was some random coincidence.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7486 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
Topic Posts: 12

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