I would leave the situation.. it might be better in the long run.. she got pregnant with another mans child... she needs to lay in her bed.. she made it
If you get back together with her, you will be laying in it, too. NC will not be possible. She is permanently tied to the child's father, like it, or not.
I also encourage you not to use lies here. Make sure your kids know, and know why, you have not reconciled with their mother. They may be at too tender an age now for this, children should not be made to handle adult situations. However, time passes, and they will have the maturity to understand.
Initially, she wanted to separated to see how things would work, but changed her mind earlier this year stating that she really wanted to work on the marriage
I'm sorry to have to say it, but I think she recognizes that she has an irresponsible baby-daddy and wants you back because of what you can provide for her. You are "plan B", like I was.
I am a 20 year military veteran and have been trying to find more happiness since I have been retired.
Not exactly the time of your life that you want to start a family with a newborn.
How old will you be when the child becomes an adult? (rhetorical question)
I am trying to use my firm foundation that I have laid down with God over the past year to determine.
Another thing you have to consider. What kind of a "yoke" will re-marrying her bring to you? Is she a believer?
It is rather obvious that she is not following the Lord at this time in her life, I don't know whether or not she knows Him or whether she may come to know Him at some point in the future, but
the current observation is that she does not have a "firm foundation" in the things of God like you are developing.
[This message edited by tfkeel at 5:58 PM, June 23rd (Monday)]