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User Topic: Facing the wreckage
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been doing a lot of reflection lately. Being separated from BW and DS and being alone during the evenings has a tendency of doing that. In between my 12 step phone meeting and writing, or hell, even sometimes during, an image recently came appeared in my mind and remained there.

I thought of the early days of my relationship with BW and I see her smile so clearly. Her mannerism, her voice, and her love can be felt so closely in this thought, and then my mind fast forwards to all of the things that I have done to her. The fact that I smiled in her face and behind her back, paid for sex, carried on correspondence with my ex, and did her wrong starts the path to further reflection on my entire life and the choices that I have made.

That's when an overwhelming sense of doom and panic that hits me. How do I start over and make a change when I have over twenty years of acting out, lies, deliberate actions that caused hurt, selfishness, anger, shame, and embarrassment on my resume and nothing on the side of good? I can't shake this feeling right now.

I am dreading finishing step 3 and moving onto step 4 and undertaking a fearless moral inventory. I look at the wreckage that has been my life and trail of destruction that I left in my wake along with the mangled trust and metaphoric bodies of women that had the displeasure of knowing me and I want to just get on my knees and apologize to each and every person that I have hurt.

This digging and probing and being honest has really touched a nerve for me. I know that this is only the surface and the beginning, but I am scared. I am not sure what I am going to find, who I am going to be on the other side of this, or how I am going to be. I know I have to go down this road and it sure is mighty uncomfortable.

I guess I just want to acknowledge that I am lost. For too much of my life I pretended like I knew everything and was in total control.


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
hopefull77
♀ 43221
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are facing your demons....you have the power to do this!!!
I wish you peace!


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 702 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, June 23rd (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi hopefull77,

Thank you for your words of encouragement. It's strange to stay and fight rather than run, which is what I normally do.


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
LostTime
♂ 42018
Member # 42018
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just want you to know you're not alone. I am in the exact same spot.

I think for me anyway being alone during the separation and away from my BW and kids, I have no distractions and have to face everything at once and overwhelming is exactly how I feel. Like a massive tidal wave is washing over me and I've forgotten how to swim.

It is scary as hell looking at everything I allowed myself to do. I'm having a brutal time focusing and moving forward through it all. I lied to my BW for years and years but I lied to myself about everything even before that.

For too much of my life I pretended like I knew everything and was in total control.

This, right here. I pretended and lied to myself and wasn't even aware of the pool of problems I had.


Me: WS - 38
Her: Beautiful, amazing BS - 38
5 beautiful amazing kids ages 2 - 14.
Separated and hoping for reconciliation one day.

Posts: 139 | Registered: Jan 2014
sadone29
♀ 38597
Member # 38597
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your addicted voice is the one who convinced you that you were in control. You're now separating yourself from that false voice and you are regaining who you were supposed to be this whole time. See it for the enemy it is.

H says that step 4 is where the difficult work starts, so I can understand your nervousness about it! Remember that you're not only fighting for your family, but for yourself.

Change is uncomfortable, but you will survive!


DDay Feb. 28, 2013
"I am pretty sure enforcing the boundary is the most important part of the boundary"- Jerry Seinfeld
Can't wait to D, but stuck financially until I find a way out of this SAHM position I'm in.

Posts: 813 | Registered: Mar 2013
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just want you to know you're not alone. I am in the exact same spot.
I think for me anyway being alone during the separation and away from my BW and kids, I have no distractions and have to face everything at once and overwhelming is exactly how I feel. Like a massive tidal wave is washing over me and I've forgotten how to swim.

It is scary as hell looking at everything I allowed myself to do. I'm having a brutal time focusing and moving forward through it all. I lied to my BW for years and years but I lied to myself about everything even before that.

For too much of my life I pretended like I knew everything and was in total control.
This, right here. I pretended and lied to myself and wasn't even aware of the pool of problems I had.

Massive tidal wave. Yep, that is the feeling. From the moment I leave BW's house until I close my eyes, it is a constant wave of pain, anxiety, regret, apologies, deals with God, 12 step work, reflection, writing, and non-stop work.

Your addicted voice is the one who convinced you that you were in control. You're now separating yourself from that false voice and you are regaining who you were supposed to be this whole time. See it for the enemy it is.
H says that step 4 is where the difficult work starts, so I can understand your nervousness about it! Remember that you're not only fighting for your family, but for yourself.

Change is uncomfortable, but you will survive!

I am fighting and I will continue to fight. It's been hard for me to see that it was my addict talking to me. It has been so long that I feel that it was my voice and mine alone.


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
lovemywife4ever
♂ 42834
Member # 42834
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You just do it one step at a time. Have faith in your ability to do it.


Me-WS
Her-BS (deena04)
Upper 30s and kids at home (hers/mine/ours)
Cheater-me 2.5 years into relationship, 2 months before engagement, 1.5 year before M...this is not an excuse but a timeline of our life

Posts: 289 | Registered: Mar 2014
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had a conversation with BW last night. She asked if there was anything I wanted to talk to her about and I shared with her much of what I had written here and added that I was truly sorry for all of the things that I have done to her and to the folks that I have hurt.

She remarked that I sounded like I was close to feeling sorry for myself and that if I wanted to apologize, she is right here and she has been here every single day. BW noted that I have not apologized to her, I do not seem remorseful, and then further commented upon a number of things that I said that I would do in terms of my recovery, efforts to support her, efforts to support our son, etc. Eventually, the conversation shifted and she acknowledged a number of things that I had done to support the aforementioned, but noted that I needed to tighten up. I will add that BW did mention that she did not want to get into a whole thing with me and our conversation ended shortly after that.

I went back and forth in my own mind trying to process everything. I admit, one minute I was so angry, another minute I was contrite, and another minute I felt persecuted. At the end of the day, I felt that she had valid points, but the tone of the conversation was confrontational and I had to fight hard against my feelings.

At the end of the day, part of me remains resentful and another part of me is just plain tired. I know a lot of this comes with the territory and I need to get over myself and get to work, but I know that if I don't write about it, speak about it, or think about it, I WILL act out because of it.


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wanted to think about what I had posted and how things have been and circle back to this thought of facing the wreckage.

I think it takes a strong person to look at the wreckage and dive in and start extricating his or her loved one. I don't feel strong and I feel like someone who is looking at the wreckage and going, "Oh my God, oh my God, what do I do?" when the simple thing would have been not to get into the damn car drunk and then driving recklessly into a wall.

Almost done with Step 3, Step 4 is right around the corner.


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
DrJekyll
♂ 43618
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes as a WS we are a train wreck. You can see it coming, you can watch it happen, and you can look at the wreckage. But now you get to be the conductor, and make sure your train never wrecks again. Keep doing the work. I am pulling for ya.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 887 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
Trying2LoveAgain
♀ 43024
Member # 43024
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even though I am a BS, my heart goes out to truly remorseful WS, because I have SEEN and witnessed what the "Wreckage" has done to my FWH...(but that's NOT to say that I am still Hurt, Angry, have Resentment, etc. etc. etc.) but I CAN see more what WS go through with each passing day and it is NOT pretty either! And so many say they wish they could UNDO it, or go back and change things! But reality is, no one can change the past! And you cannot either! So, just focus on one day at a time and working on YOU first! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! Hang in there and NEVER give up!


Me:BS
Him:FWH
2 DS:35 & 30 , 2 D Grandchildren
"Oh the webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive"....My WH quotes this often.
I found out about H's affair 25 yrs later.Mine is my own "Life is a journey, travel with Care."

Posts: 393 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: New Mexico
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the encouragement folks. It means a lot to me.

I spoke with BW today and she said something that just broke my heart. She told me that rather than face my anger, resentment, and hostility, she chooses to get out of the way and not speak to me about certain things. She compared my behavior to that of our infant son.

He kicks his feet all of the time and I am normally on the receiving end because I place myself in front of him. She stated she had to get out of the way because essentially, I have not been a safe partner and I have not allowed her to express herself.

All of this is completely true and it stirs up my anxiety. I totally get it, no one wants to be a punching bag; especially a BW. I feel that we are slowly drifting further apart. A lot of days, she tells me that she loved me and in the past she felt differently, but things are different now. Again, I get the past tense. I know that whatever it is that I experience, it is a mere fraction of the smallest hurt that I have caused her.

She mentioned that she has been depressed for going on a year now and how she has not slept. I'd like to make an appointment for a C for her, but I am not sure how well received that would be. Any suggestions?


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
DrJekyll
♂ 43618
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You need to encourage her healing. Bring up IC for her. Discuss it with her, and if she is ok with it, you can offer to make the appointment for her. But you need to listen to what she is telling you about it. Your BS needs to be ready for that, or it will have no affect. Also you can offer to go with in say a MC session, where your BS can feel safe to open up about those issues she will not bring up with you directly. An environment with a mediator.

Maybe AD if she has been feeling depression for a year. If it is affecting her eating and sleeping. Your BS should be able to get these from her Primary Doctor if she is not open to counseling.

These 2 statements go together:

I have not been a safe partner and I have not allowed her to express herself.

I feel that we are slowly drifting further apart.

Your relationship is in shambles right now. From my experience with my BS. She did not want to bring up hurtful things that I may use for an excuse to "act out" It is imperative that you make a safe environment for her feelings. For us, we had to start being friends first. How do you treat your friends? When your BW talks about things that make you uncomfortable, do you get angry? Talk with her and find out what you are doing to make her feel unsafe.

I am not sure how well received that would be.

Question
Out of all of us here supporting you here on SI, who knows how your BS is going to receive it? You are her WH. You are supposed to know how she will take it. But if you are anything like me, you have had your attention focused everywhere but your BS so a long time. Think about your statement. This is something that you should have the answer to. And this should be a priority for you. Getting to know your BS again. But to do that you will need to be vulnerable, and she needs to feel safe. If all that you two can discuss are surface issues than you will drift to become acquaintances, coparents at best.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 887 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 9:44 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DrJekyll,
You offer so much insight and I want to say thank you. I read your response and I am just smacking my head going, "How did I not think of that?"

I've brought up IC to her before and I just realized that when I did, I was making it out to be that she was the problem and she needs counseling so that we could move forward. I love her and I want her to be mentally okay. I have been far from loving because I have felt entitled to her love, affection, and attention; even in the midst of our relationship now.

I will ponder this point and really hear her and talk to her.

Regarding how I treat her, I am angry and resentful when we talk about anything else other than our son. I've treated "friends" terribly, to the point I have none. I have so much inward anger that I let us fall apart that I can't stand myself. Part of my own IC has told me that I misdirect all my anger and everyone around me, BW included, pays the price.

She has pretty much said that if things don't change, we will drift further apart as things are fluid. I have to get my shit together.


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
DrJekyll
♂ 43618
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 8:19 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you angry and resentful when you talk to her? What has she done? From what I gather from your posts, I think you may be projecting your anger and resentment of yourself onto her.

read a couple books:
Your survival instinct is killing you
Transforming your dragons
seven principles for making marriage work
trapped in the mirror

I have felt entitled to her love, affection, and attention

one of the things I had to come to terms with is all I am entitled to/deserve is to be divorced. Not any of the others, we have to work to earn any of that back.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 887 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why are you angry and resentful when you talk to her? What has she done? From what I gather from your posts, I think you may be projecting your anger and resentment of yourself onto her.
read a couple books:
Your survival instinct is killing you
Transforming your dragons
seven principles for making marriage work
trapped in the mirror

I have felt entitled to her love, affection, and attention

one of the things I had to come to terms with is all I am entitled to/deserve is to be divorced. Not any of the others, we have to work to earn any of that back.

She has done nothing to hurt me or for me to be nasty towards her. I absolutely am turning my anger towards and resentments towards her; similarly, I have done the same to anyone in my immediate vicinity.

I have been doing a lot of thinking on this topic tonight and I have dug pretty deep. For a long time, I have equated sex as unconditional love and that if a woman was dating me, we are supposed to be on the same team. That means her enemies become mine, her likes and wants become mine, and her resentments, etc., become mine and vice versa. When I met my BW, we joked a lot that we were like Bonnie and Clyde. We were opposites, but we somehow found common ground and I thought that even though I am a piece of shit and I have done so much dirt, if we committed ourselves to one another, it was going to work.

Without getting into too many details, it became clear that my idea of being married and committed were different. Where I thought marriage meant unconditional obedience to what the other person (i.e. me) wanted/needed, my BW operated from the real world, where there was a give and take.

I've realized tonight that I expected BW to back me up no matter what, even if I was wrong. When she voiced her concerns about my actions, I viewed that as a betrayal. Furthermore, it meant that she didn't love me as much as she told me that she did. From there, it spiraled to: "She thinks I am stupid," "I can't trust her, I put myself out there and she won't even support me," etc.

I know academically that my way of thinking is insane and flawed, but it is hard to dispel it. In my mind, I opened myself up to her and she was supposed to be one person that didn't hurt me, but she did when she disagreed with me, talked to me about a different point of view, or told me that I was wrong. I took it much more personally than I normally would with other people.

So you are absolutely right, there is me projecting anger and resentment on to her and also holding her accountable for what I expected from her, even though those things don't comport, nor would they ever, with BW's personality. Regardless of what I think or feel, it is wrong of me to hurt her, display anger and inconsideration towards her, and/or punish her.

It's been tough tonight. I see the 4 year old me, the 7 year old me, the 10 year old me, the young me, and I see the hurt and pain. I just want it to stop and move on. I think this is part and parcel of my entitlement complex.

[This message edited by Actionsoverwords at 8:46 PM, June 30th (Monday)]


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
lovemywife4ever
♂ 42834
Member # 42834
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hear you. Work through it and know others are in the same spot.


Me-WS
Her-BS (deena04)
Upper 30s and kids at home (hers/mine/ours)
Cheater-me 2.5 years into relationship, 2 months before engagement, 1.5 year before M...this is not an excuse but a timeline of our life

Posts: 289 | Registered: Mar 2014
DrJekyll
♂ 43618
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know academically that my way of thinking is insane and flawed, but it is hard to dispel it. In my mind, I opened myself up to her and she was supposed to be one person that didn't hurt me, but she did when she disagreed with me, talked to me about a different point of view, or told me that I was wrong. I took it much more personally than I normally would with other people.

I had felt this way too. When my BS would talk to me about a coworker of mine when I was in an angry rage. And she would try to get me to look at it from different points of view. I would get angry at her thinking she was taking the other persons side.

So now what you have to do is: open yourself up to her. as much as you can. And do not get defensive or angry. From the book, your survival instinct is killing you, you have to build a tolerance. step by step. build your tolerance up. And stop the fight/slight response. you are choosing fight with your BS, and that is not helping.

I just want it to stop and move on

Nope, Feel the pain and be okay that it hurts. Find the feeling behind the pain. And it isn't anger. and feel it. Remember, its about building tolerance. Feel it a little at a time.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 887 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
Actionsoverwords
♂ 41949
Member # 41949
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had felt this way too. When my BS would talk to me about a coworker of mine when I was in an angry rage. And she would try to get me to look at it from different points of view. I would get angry at her thinking she was taking the other persons side.

So now what you have to do is: open yourself up to her. as much as you can. And do not get defensive or angry. From the book, your survival instinct is killing you, you have to build a tolerance. step by step. build your tolerance up. And stop the fight/slight response. you are choosing fight with your BS, and that is not helping.

Forgive me if I am prying too deep, but I was just wondering if you had issues with abuse as a child? I'm curious to know if there is a correlation between folks who suffered abuse and were not believed and issues with trust as an adult. I am looking for something that explains the anger, resentment, and the difficulties with letting and moving on. Opening up to her has been difficult, I just feel that I have not been taken seriously or that she becomes exasperated with me.

Nope, Feel the pain and be okay that it hurts. Find the feeling behind the pain. And it isn't anger. and feel it. Remember, its about building tolerance. Feel it a little at a time.

The feeling behind the pain is frustration, fear, loneliness, self-pity, catastrophe, etc. For me, everything comes flooding in. It's hard to feel it a little at a time. I think if that was the case, I might be able to manage it, but it feels like a roller coaster.

Leaving BW and DS today, I came home and immediately broke down. Laid on the couch, thought about death, thought about giving it all up, and wanted to act out. I feel lucky that I ended up passing out from exhaustion instead of being in the aforementioned place. I'm getting concerned that these episodes are coming closer and closer. I had mentioned this to BW on other occasions and she said that it was a selfish thing to even consider suicide and that it was still all about me. I wasn't trying to get sympathy or have her talk me down from a ledge, but just trying to make her aware of what was going on with me.

How do you prevent the pain from overwhelming you?


Me: WH, 30's
Her : BW, 30's, (determinata)
Children: An amazing son.
I am a sex addict, working on myself, and facing the wreckage of my actions.



Posts: 309 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York City
DrJekyll
♂ 43618
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 7:53 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was just wondering if you had issues with abuse as a child?

Yes my father was an alcoholic and physically abusive, my mother was NPD and mentally abusive.

Opening up to her has been difficult,

I totally get this I struggle with it constantly. My BS tells me that must of the time she can feel me being guarded. Even when I think I am being open. I have a long way to go yet.

I just feel that I have not been taken seriously or that she becomes exasperated with me.

For myself, I have cried wolf so many times about changing. I understand it not being seen for the real change it is. Add onto that, that this is not just a "sorry I didn't close the pantry door" this is a "I dropped an F'n nuke" So take a step back and look at what she is going through. The actions, the lies, the TT. You will need to prove for a long time.

The feeling behind the pain is frustration, fear, loneliness, self-pity, catastrophe, etc. For me, everything comes flooding in. It's hard to feel it a little at a time. I think if that was the case, I might be able to manage it, but it feels like a roller coaster.

try to focus on one of the feelings in the next event. Try and process the frustration for example. Focus on that. once you process that one attempt to process the next. Do not let the flood take over. any other thoughts that come in, tell yourself "I am not thinking about that right now" and try to let it go. Sometimes that works for me, sometimes it doesn't, but you can keep trying.

thought about death, thought about giving it all up, and wanted to act out.

I'm getting concerned that these episodes are coming closer and closer.

Do you want to live? Really deep down, do you?
If the answer is yes, then when those feelings come upon you remind yourself.
If the answer is no, then get to the doctor and get on AD medication. This is not something to play with, as it will only cause further devastation to the survivors. And would be another completely selfish act. You need to live, you need to heal. Your BS and DC are depending on you for that. Even if the marriage ends, you need to be safe and a good father.

How do you prevent the pain from overwhelming you?

Read the books I mentioned above. What it allowed me to do, was to process some of my feelings a little at a time. Reading through the different chapters discussing the different childhood abuses i have suffered. Allowed to me read (or my BS read to me) and I was able to work through some feelings. But if I got overwhelmed, I stopped reading. This allowed for me to work through when I was in a better frame of mind, and not in an episode. Little bits at a time.


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women


Posts: 887 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
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