Also, they are insistent that my kids r going away with them for the 4th of July. (We have no overnights with girlfriends in divorce decree ). Again, thanks to the SI friends who reminded me recently that because they didn't choose their weeks before may 15, they r SOL.
It feels great to NOT pet the drama lama.
[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 11:02 PM, June 23rd (Monday)]
WH#2 (SorryinSac)- Killed himself in our home 6 days after being served divorce docs.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
Ummmm,,, isn't that what you used to do????
I WISH I had thought to say that to him!!!!!
footnote: talked to son about waiting to have girlfriend over til I get home from work.
Before you know it, your 14 year old will be a strapping 16 or 17 year old and able to tell his dad where to stick it when he rides up on the drama llama..
Oh my gosh!!!! You are right!!! When XWH was in the driveway he yelled out something about his new house... or going on the vacation,, something,,,, and my son yelled out.. yeah have fun going by yourself!!!!
He IS starting to see thru his Dad!
I am so sorry for his pain, but I try to show with my actions stark differences in lifestyles.
XWH and OW were angry son 17 had a girlfriend over while I was at work
THey emailed me today asking if I want to handle communication with them like grownups or go to court.
They don't like to be told "NO". (The trip to Wisconsin).
I think they REALLY don't like crickets!
IF they want to go to court,, I'll worry about that then....plus, they just caused a big scene in front of my children-- I don't think judges like that...
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Did the police come?
I didn't know you could call the police when someone is yelling at you. My STBX comes to my house all the time (for visitation) and yells at me in front of our children.
Can you or anyone else elaborate?
No matter what, good for you. You're very brave and sticking up for yourself.
[This message edited by ChoosingHope at 10:47 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]
That's why so many families have drop off/ pick up for visitation at the police station.
This will give you insight into what SC values for children...It is a link to the standard visitation schedule/restraining orders in this state - it became effective from our very first court hearing after I filed.
I promised my children after WS moved out and created drama that our property boundaries were our safe haven, and that he would NEVER intimidate us here. This is where we are safe, loved, and can shut out the pressures of the world. This is the 2nd time I've had to call the sheriff. The first time I had not filed yet. They officer said to file for a legal separation to set up these boundaries. I can also file an order of no tresspass -- he can't be on our property w/o going to jail.
If you can get into counseling at a domestic violence center it REALLY helped having their support thru this. It's free, btw!
I'm completely overwhelmed right now. In court a few weeks ago, the judge made it clear that I've been physically and emotionally abused. I never thought of myself like that. My NPD/sociopath/SA STBX lied about me so badly in court - and in filings leading up to court - that we were always on the defensive. We never went on the offensive about DV, and the main reason is because I refused to admit it. At one meeting, my attorney cornered me and told me that I was abused. I was so upset - and later I was angry at her. I simply couldn't admit it because the physical stuff only happened twice. The emotional stuff happened daily in the last couple of years of my marriage.
I'm waiting to hear the judge's ruling. And then I think I'm going to have to get help for the abuse. For myself first, but also because STBX is going to appeal my divorce. This is not over.
Thank you for sharing your story and showing me and hopefully others that abuse takes all forms and that you can fight it. I'm so proud of you for calling the police - it takes a kind of courage that I am not sure if I have. You are VERY brave. And your kids are lucky that you are their mom.
I also had to do outpatient at Charter -- a treatment center. It was 2 weeks 9-4. They billed my ins and let me pay out the deductible. That really jump started my healing. Several women were in the for the same thing!!!Infidelity and the crazy making. One man lost his grandson, one guy was a cop, one lady was a triathele who had a panic attack,etc etc. All of them very normal, just had a big trauma hit at one time.
Don't apologize for the tj,,, it all has to do with finally feeling strong enough to say "no more", and I couldnt have done it w/o SI, my IC and my friends....