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OW and XH came over- I called 911. Yay me

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homewrecked2011 posted 6/23/2014 22:54 PM

So xwh and ow came to my house raising a ruckus because my 14 year old rode his bike to our friends pond in the dark. No, he rode it in the daylight, but XWH was told about it after dark. My son went outside in the driveway to talk to his dad . DS comes in says dad wants to talk to you. Ok I say. I get to his truck and he and OW bless me out. Well, they tried to, I looked at them and called 911. Our divorce papers say no drama in front of the kids!! hahahaha!!! It was so calming to have the upper hand. They have been emailing me and I'm giving them crickets--- thanks to the SI friends who told me what crickets are!!! And I'm saving all the emails with their drama.

Also, they are insistent that my kids r going away with them for the 4th of July. (We have no overnights with girlfriends in divorce decree ). Again, thanks to the SI friends who reminded me recently that because they didn't choose their weeks before may 15, they r SOL.

It feels great to NOT pet the drama lama.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 11:02 PM, June 23rd (Monday)]

Chrysalis123 posted 6/23/2014 23:08 PM

Good for you. SI is a wonderful resource for all of us.

GabyBaby posted 6/23/2014 23:16 PM

Sucks to be them!!

tesla posted 6/24/2014 07:12 AM

Good for you. Stay calm and stick to the rules.

tushnurse posted 6/24/2014 07:22 AM

Bwahahahahaahaa!!!!!

Go Girl.

homewrecked2011 posted 6/24/2014 11:25 AM

Additionally, XWH and OW were angry son 17 had a girlfriend over while I was at work.

Ummmm,,, isn't that what you used to do????
I WISH I had thought to say that to him!!!!!

footnote: talked to son about waiting to have girlfriend over til I get home from work.

GingerAle posted 6/24/2014 11:25 AM

Way to go, girl!!

NoMorDeceit posted 6/24/2014 11:34 AM

Hang in there! You are doing so good. They need you to provide the glue that holds them together. You only have a few more years of their nonsense to deal with. Just keep swimming, just keep holding to the agreement and decree. Before you know it, your 14 year old will be a strapping 16 or 17 year old and able to tell his dad where to stick it when he rides up on the drama llama...just remember do not pet the fucker, it has fleas and other nasties.

homewrecked2011 posted 6/24/2014 11:48 AM

Before you know it, your 14 year old will be a strapping 16 or 17 year old and able to tell his dad where to stick it when he rides up on the drama llama..

Oh my gosh!!!! You are right!!! When XWH was in the driveway he yelled out something about his new house... or going on the vacation,, something,,,, and my son yelled out.. yeah have fun going by yourself!!!!

He IS starting to see thru his Dad!
I am so sorry for his pain, but I try to show with my actions stark differences in lifestyles.

sparkysable posted 6/24/2014 12:30 PM

XWH and OW were angry son 17 had a girlfriend over while I was at work
But yet...XWH had no problem having OW over while YOU were at work!

homewrecked2011 posted 6/24/2014 21:22 PM

exactly!


THey emailed me today asking if I want to handle communication with them like grownups or go to court.

WTH????

LMAO!

They don't like to be told "NO". (The trip to Wisconsin).

I think they REALLY don't like crickets!

NoMorDeceit posted 6/24/2014 21:31 PM

Do not respond. My goodness they do need drama don't they? Guess it isn't as much fun when your not sneaking around behind someone's back to screw...well alas that not be your problem. Unless you get served with a court date over this trippy-poo to "1234 Dead Lover's Lane, Whoreville, WI"...let them steam in their own juices...silence drives them crazy. I mean without you they would have to have a real relationship.

homewrecked2011 posted 6/24/2014 21:35 PM

Crickets from me.

IF they want to go to court,, I'll worry about that then....plus, they just caused a big scene in front of my children-- I don't think judges like that...

Gemini71 posted 6/24/2014 22:10 PM

Just wondering, did the 911 call go through? Is there a record somewhere that you called about this incident? If they tape 911 calls in your area, wouldn't it be lovely to have a recording of OW and XH yelling in the background while you're patiently trying to disengage?

ChoosingHope posted 6/24/2014 22:46 PM

Homewrecked,

Did the police come?

I didn't know you could call the police when someone is yelling at you. My STBX comes to my house all the time (for visitation) and yells at me in front of our children.

Can you or anyone else elaborate?

No matter what, good for you. You're very brave and sticking up for yourself.

[This message edited by ChoosingHope at 10:47 PM, June 24th (Tuesday)]

homewrecked2011 posted 6/25/2014 00:07 AM

choosing: Heck yeah the police came out. No one can verbally abuse you anytime, any place, especially in front of the kids..


That's why so many families have drop off/ pick up for visitation at the police station.

This will give you insight into what SC values for children...It is a link to the standard visitation schedule/restraining orders in this state - it became effective from our very first court hearing after I filed.

I promised my children after WS moved out and created drama that our property boundaries were our safe haven, and that he would NEVER intimidate us here. This is where we are safe, loved, and can shut out the pressures of the world. This is the 2nd time I've had to call the sheriff. The first time I had not filed yet. They officer said to file for a legal separation to set up these boundaries. I can also file an order of no tresspass -- he can't be on our property w/o going to jail.

If you can get into counseling at a domestic violence center it REALLY helped having their support thru this. It's free, btw!

http://www.atkinssc.com/resourcefiles/STANDARDVISITATION.pdf


ChoosingHope posted 6/25/2014 22:45 PM

Homewrecked, thank you for taking the time to post all of that, and I'm sorry if I hijacked your thread. STBX has broken all of the first four rules after "Restraining Order."

I'm completely overwhelmed right now. In court a few weeks ago, the judge made it clear that I've been physically and emotionally abused. I never thought of myself like that. My NPD/sociopath/SA STBX lied about me so badly in court - and in filings leading up to court - that we were always on the defensive. We never went on the offensive about DV, and the main reason is because I refused to admit it. At one meeting, my attorney cornered me and told me that I was abused. I was so upset - and later I was angry at her. I simply couldn't admit it because the physical stuff only happened twice. The emotional stuff happened daily in the last couple of years of my marriage.

I'm waiting to hear the judge's ruling. And then I think I'm going to have to get help for the abuse. For myself first, but also because STBX is going to appeal my divorce. This is not over.

Thank you for sharing your story and showing me and hopefully others that abuse takes all forms and that you can fight it. I'm so proud of you for calling the police - it takes a kind of courage that I am not sure if I have. You are VERY brave. And your kids are lucky that you are their mom.

Thank you.

homewrecked2011 posted 6/26/2014 22:16 PM

Choosing... please try to get into counseling, it was really helpful to have someone to talk to when stuff happened with WS. Especially at a dv counseling place. If you call, tell the receptionist you have been physically abused -- you will get an appt sooner. Many of the counselors have been where we are. I could tell them anything because I knew they had heard even worse. It's awesome having someone believe everything you say. My friend is a flight attendant and she was the person who steered me to counseling. She said it is well worth having other eyes on the whole situation-she has been in our situation!!!!

I also had to do outpatient at Charter -- a treatment center. It was 2 weeks 9-4. They billed my ins and let me pay out the deductible. That really jump started my healing. Several women were in the for the same thing!!!Infidelity and the crazy making. One man lost his grandson, one guy was a cop, one lady was a triathele who had a panic attack,etc etc. All of them very normal, just had a big trauma hit at one time.

Don't apologize for the tj,,, it all has to do with finally feeling strong enough to say "no more", and I couldnt have done it w/o SI, my IC and my friends....

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