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Newest Member: MistersMommy (46014)

User Topic: Am I being too unreasonable with NC list of people?
12yearsloyal
♀ 43064
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, here is my question: I want WS to have NC with the following people. Tell me if I am being unreasonable to request this:

(for clarification I am giving fake names to them)
1. OW
2. Mary -she is good friends with OW and BS
3. Bob - best friend to WS in foreign country
4. George - Brother of Mary

For further clarification, Bob is also married/separated from Mary and George's sister.

WS met OW thru Mary.
Bob does not support our M and has been a dick to me in the past. (he is a bully w/drinking issues)
George is a nice guy but I don't want contact with any relatives of Mary.
WS does not need a female friend.

OW, Mary and Bob live in the foreign country where WS used to live/work. George lives in the U.S.

Tell me if asking for NC with these people is normal or unreasonable? I don't want them in my life or my marriage. WS does not need to be updated on OW from any of them and I feel they will update him if he keeps contact.

Please advise.


Him: WS, 51 LTA/EA/PA(he says 1 yr, evidence = 2 yrs) D Day 3/10/14
Me: BS 52
OW: Caribbean whore, ugly
What I want: Profound, deep, passionate love.
What I got: Betrayal, heartache and Xanax.

Posts: 182 | Registered: Apr 2014
kima
♀ 43849
Member # 43849
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think: Anyone who makes you uncomfortable needs some kind of resolution.

Maybe you need NC or maybe some other "out of the box" solution like talking only when you are there. One thing I have been learning is that boundaries are intended to be safe for everyone involved. If it is past your boundary (gives you unsettling feelings) find one that works for you.


Anything or anybody that does not bring you alive is too small for you -david whyte

Posts: 18 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: kima
UpInTheAirNow
♂ 37777
Member # 37777
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your not being unreasonable. They are a friend of the marriage. Or they have to go. Whatever makes you feel safe. This is a consequence of infidelity. He plays by your rules or he can get the F out. But you have to stand your ground.


ME 45
WW 50
DDay 6/13/12
Married 17 years, together 27 yrs.

Posts: 230 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: NY
KeepCalm_CarryOn
♀ 33374
Member # 33374
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are absolutly not being unreasonable! We cut out a heck of a lot more people than that!

I agree with others- people who are not friends of the marriage or make you uncomfortable should be cut.


You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.

Me- BW, 30
Him- fWh, 36
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August 2013


Posts: 2044 | Registered: Sep 2011
Badhurt
♂ 41947
Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are the BS. He is the WS?

There is nothing you need that he has right to say is unreasonable!!!

He has to prove to you he is worthy of you taking him back.


Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
Topic Posts: 5

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