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funnyguy posted 6/24/2014 09:52 AM

Hi Everyone
Well my DDay was Nov 2013 and as i mentioned before , I got trickle truth and now I am at the worst place I have been this whole time. I did IC for months and stopped but I think now I will have to go back, I can't stop the visual pictures and dreams I'm having, i currently went on medication to bring some clear mind to me as I'm making mistakes at my job becasue I can't even focus for an hour at a time. I was really sad that I had to go meds but I think its for the best.I have a hard time looking at her now or even wanting to touch her.I have panic and anxiety attacks daily and don't really know how to stop them.I feel more lost than ever and don't really know somedays who I am as I feel the old me is gone forever.

hardtimesinlife posted 6/24/2014 11:05 AM

Hi Funnyguy

Everything you are feeling is normal. Sad but normal.

Meds for anxiety are a good first step. IC is another good tool. Make sure your diet is extra healthy and you are getting more than enough fluids. Exercise a bit each day, too. All these things will help your brain and heart heal.

I think the anxiety will lessen with time as will the mind movies. You are only about 6 or 7 months into what is easily a 2-3 year complete recovery. And that is without TT or repeated lies.

Give yourself a little break and know that you are going to be ok. Keep reading and posting here - we all have your back.

funnyguy posted 6/24/2014 11:12 AM


seethelight posted 6/24/2014 11:21 AM

I feel more lost than ever and don't really know somedays who I am as I feel the old me is gone forever.

I am two years out. I felt that way for a long time, but now MORE of the old ME is returning. I don't think I will ever be the old me completely, but that is a good thing.

The old me was far too gullible and trusting.

I am in reconciliation, but I plan to leave when the children are old enough to understand the concepts of love and vows and faithfulness, trust and cheating.

Meanwhile, I am getting my ducks in a row, and working on rebuilding my self esteem day by day.

funnyguy posted 6/24/2014 12:07 PM

I think your so right , I will never see the old me again, a part of me is gone forever. I just need to find balance in my life and myself. I just feel like sometimes you can't get out of this dark place.

seethelight posted 6/24/2014 12:10 PM


I know you can't believe this, now.

But you WILL get stronger.

funnyguy posted 6/24/2014 12:21 PM

I try and tell myself that everyday, but these past 2 weeks I feel like just being alone , but I stay as strong as I possibly can just for my kids sake alone.its just sad in away when your a grown man and I can cry this much???

Harriet posted 6/24/2014 12:28 PM

I lost the old me, completely. I used to be happy with moments of sadness or anxiety. Now it's the opposite. I'm trying to find my way back, but I'm getting weary.

seethelight posted 6/24/2014 12:31 PM


Crying is healthy. Google it.

It releases stress hormones.

Cry as much as you like. It's about being a human, not being a man or a women.

Remember, too. You have options. If she changes you can stay, if not you can leave. It's your call.

Either choice is okay, she broke the fidelity agreement.

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