So you are talking about emotional questions and answers, not actual factual questions and answers.
Emotional answers are very hard to get an answer for.
For one thing, the emotions at the time of the affair, or more accurately at the exact time something was said, could be very different today looking back at that time.
If she loved the OM back then, today she might look back in disgust at him and the entire thing.
She might realize that the love was fake, phony and sickening and a lie.
Maybe the only emotional type answer that should make sense is the WHY. Even asking how could you might be very hard for a WS to answer since they are not thinking today like they did back then...thankfully or there would be no R.
If you have the facts and maybe some emotional type answers, I think you should be thankful she has changed like this.
What exactly are you worried about that you have not gotten an honest answer to.