SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

I went to see a client today and her grandmother showed me the shirt the little girl had been wearing during one of our last visits...it was a brand new shirt that she had worn once...the shirt now has a blue stain on it from the markers we had colored with during our last visit.

The grandmother asked me if my agency could give her some type of reimbursement for the shirt...I explained no we don't, and apologized deeply for the ruined shirt, and made a mental note to only use washable markers from this point on.

Had this happened last year I would have either given her my own money or gone out and bought a new shirt for the client....probably the same one. Now I still feel badly about the shirt, but realize that buying a new shirt would be breaking boundaries....

Maybe I am making some progress...

Good job.

It seems like a little thing. But we need to make sure we don't even start step one on some of the roads that used to get us into trouble.

Maybe someday that will be different, but now is not that time.

I definitely see the progress. I'm another one who would have replaced the shirt.

My BH says I'm a KISA. I'm trying to work on those tendencies but boy they run deep and sometimes healthy boundaries feel like rudeness or uncaring when I try them out even though I don't see it that way on someone else.

It's not a little thing, it's a BIG thing. Congratulations! I was/am also a Knight in Shining Armor/Rescuer in both my personal and (former) professional life, and it can be tremendously hard work both to notice when I am doing it and to stop.