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Newest Member: Cobound (61857)

User Topic: while I am away the rat plays
♀ 43792
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to leave my home about three weeks ago to be with my mom . We spent 12 hour days or more at the hospital where my father was fighting for his life. He lost his battle and we buried him Sunday. I am so heartbroken over this as he was a good man who put family first.

The whole time I have been gone my stbxh has had his skank in my house several times and my son's gf little boy found a bullet vibrator on my family room floor. I want to puke as it is everything I eat runs through mee.

I see a counselor on Monday and am barely hanging on . helping my mom do thing's helps some but not enough. I think my problem is helping my mom because she thinks of what I should do. It is really strange we are both learning to live alone but for different reasons. I go to her house everyday but know that will not always be the case.

my stbxh has shown what a truly selfish bas××××he is.

Posts: 533 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
♀ 27071
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Change your locks. Who cares whether he likes it when you do…. Change your locks. He is violating your space in a very hurtful manner. No one could blame you. Just change your locks. He's disgusting and so is his skank. What kind of woman does that ? He IS a rat of the most filthy kind. If there is anything left in your house that he needs, sack it up, put it on the porch or lawn and let him know he needs to pick it up.

My condolences for the loss of your father. Been there; it's more than difficult to say good by to a loving parent, a good parent.

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

Posts: 1242 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry for the loss of your father. Change the locks in your house and disinfect everything

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

Posts: 1849 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 11:51 PM, June 24th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First of all I'm so sorry for your loss. Secondly I'm appalled that stbx would choose this difficult time for you, to be dragging some skank into your home. I agree with the others, change the locks..he's heartless.
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank

Posts: 5738 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
♀ 39911
Member # 39911
Default  Posted: 12:24 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that you have lost your father and that your Stbxh picked this sad and difficult time to show again what an ass he is.

My H started his most recent affair less than two weeks after my father died, which has been one of the hardest things for me to deal with in this whole mess.

I hope your counseling appointment will help you start dealing with the whirlwind of emotions that must be going through you right now.


Me: BS - 61
Him: WS - 59
Married 37 yrs

Latest DD - April 2013, PA

Posts: 293 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 38121
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's just a class A pig. And so is his sow.

If you're staying in the house once his worthless ass is gone, I'd get a Bio-Hazard 4 Chemical Wash-down of the entire place.

Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 6327 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
♀ 43659
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. Those depths of selfishness sound just evil to me. I agree. Change your locks. You are going through enough, and shouldn't have to put up with your children and children's friends finding absolutely inappropriate crap in your house. Protect yourself from further pain. Try to make this your priority.

So sorry for the loss of your dad, and the struggle he and you and your mom went through as he fought for his life.

You were blessed to have had a good dad.

me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 298 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
♀ 43792
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks I plan on heading back in a few weeks just got to make sure my mom is okay. She is super depressed. She was lucky they had 48 years together and the last thing he did was make sure ske kne he loved her.

Posts: 533 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
♀ 43221
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your father sounds like a wonderful person....sorry for your loss....
I am also sorry for you and your family....
Now is the time to take care of your kids and YOURSELF...

3 adult children 1D 2S
LTA 2010-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now." R.R

Posts: 2530 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
Topic Posts: 9

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