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Newest Member: JayDubya (61479)

User Topic: BS here ... looking for some help for WW
♂ 43809
Member # 43809
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had my first IC yesterday. She is somewhere she can't and won't be able to for some time. I feel like I'm doing all the work.

I am reading three books recommended by my IC, but I want a book to recommend to my WW. We are trying to reconcile and heal. I don't feel that I should be doing all the work....

I'm reading:

After the Affair - Janis Sperry
Private Lies - Frank Pitman
NOT Just Friends - Shirley Glass

She has had a LTA over a considerable portion of our marriage. It started professionally and led to some very very betrayals. Any thing I should make her read while we are apart?

Married 9/20/2003
WW with OM 8 years
Dday 6/15/14

Posts: 48 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: New Mexico
♂ 43618
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

your post is probably going to get pulled. Maybe should have been in the general forum or questions for waywards thread.

But looking at your question. You cannot make her read anything. You need to worry about healing yourself. If you feel like you are doing all of the work, than your WW may not be as concerned about R as you are. Your WW needs to be seeking how to help you. She will need to understand why she did what she did. But in order to do that, she will need to WANT TO, not be MADE TO. As a WS it is a hard road to walk. So if I didn't want to, it would only be false R anyway. It is a different story if you are working together to find books. But she doesn't appear to be as concerned about R as you. JMHO I hope to not offend as you are in a tough position, and not of your decision.

A wound can be stitched shut, but it decides when it will heal on its own.

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

I do not PM with Women

Posts: 1183 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Midwest
♂ 43139
Member # 43139
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ask her to read After the Affair. My fWW read it I believe it was a big help for her to understand how to help me heal.

Why are you apart? That is probably not a good thing at this time.

Posts: 606 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Texas
SI Staff
Member # 10
Red  Posted: 7:46 AM, June 25th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BSs are not to start threads in the Wayward Forum. Please direct your questions to WSs in the ICR BS Questions for Waywards thread.

Thank you.

Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
Topic Posts: 4

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