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somethingremorse posted 6/25/2014 16:20 PM

I have been so incredibly lucky these last months. I just wanted to acknowledge that.

My BW has given me a chance, I am still at home with my family.

I messed up so many things at work during my bad years. I just found another one yesterday that could have been bad -- like malpractice bad. But today my client showed me a solution. That is kind of the inspiration for this topic.

I know that my inlaws or the APs or their BHs could have made all sorts of problems for me, at home or work or the community. Those would have made it much harder to heal. So far, none of that has happened. People who know have been supportive, and people who suspect anything have been quiet.

I'm lucky that I have the financial resources to get IC and MC, and get ADs, and that I found really great ones to help. I have the flexibility to go to therapy without risking my job (much, anyway).

I'm lucky that my BW has chosen to remember the person I used to be, and see the person that I am determined to become, and accept how badly I lost my way in between. She is taking a huge chance on me. I know that she now realizes she is strong enough to walk away if she wanted to. I am so lucky that she is using that strength to stay.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I know a lot of people here have worked so hard, but haven't been as lucky as me. I know that very few people here have f***ed up as badly as I did. So many people here have helped me -- another way I have been lucky. I just want to acknowledge the grace I have received. I do not deserve it. I will never take it for granted.

WalkinOnEggshelz posted 6/25/2014 16:43 PM

I can completely relate to that feeling of being lucky. I often tell my BH that I am the luckiest girl in the world.

Things have always seemed to work itself out in my world. Low caseload at work? My PRN job calls and offers hours. I typically have parking fairies at the store. And of course, the luckiest thing of all was the second chance I have been given by my BH. My second chance to be a better person, wife, mother. So ya, I consider myself extremely lucky.

The thing is that now I understand that I am fortunate to have these opportunities in my life. I had taken those opportunities for granted in the past. Today I don't.

I just want to acknowledge the grace I have received. I do not deserve it.

I get that too. Learning a certain amount of humility will help keep that feeling with you so you don't take what you have for granted once again.

I think acknowledging this is a great step!

dana47 posted 6/25/2014 17:13 PM

I'm lucky too. I married a strong, supportive, loving man.

Wayflost posted 6/25/2014 19:27 PM

Ditto. I'm lucky to have a chance today.

DrJekyll posted 6/26/2014 05:48 AM

I used to consider myself to be very unlucky. If something could go wrong for me it did. But I am very lucky. Because the couple things that really matter in this world have gone in my favor. My DS who was not supposed to live longer than 6 hours is 10yo. And my BS has given me a huge gift of attempting R. It may turn out in the end to just be a deal breaker. But in the mean time, I get 1 more day. Every day is a new opportunity. And every day is a gift.

islesguy posted 6/26/2014 07:35 AM

I feel incredibly lucky to still be in a relationship with my BS, what I have put her through and what she continues to go through is incredible and sickening. She is absolutely the strongest person I have ever known.

I just want to acknowledge the grace I have received. I do not deserve it.

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