SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

LearningToFly posted 6/26/2014 01:20 AM

I have been afraid to open up sexually with my WH and realized last week that I needed to face my fear if there was any hope for our marriage. (In counseling we decide to move toward divorce, then after counseling he said he didn't want to...and i don't either.)

Our intimate life has been very empty. We haven't had S.x for a looooong time. WH was not only in an EA for 18-20 months, he has been using porn for about 13 years on and off. WH has a hard time connecting emotionally and it affects our intimacy.

Anyway, we have reestablished that part of our relationship. I felt strong feelings for about 5 days. Maybe HB? One thing I noticed is that he had shaved his hair around his pe...s. I asked him about it and he said he did it a couple months ago because it looked ugly to him. (He is almost 60 and not involved with anyone else and also not looking a porn since Dec.) After being married to him for almost 30 years I am wondering what is going on in his head. (He just said he thought it looked ugly ... but whats the big concern?) Am I just out of touch with the male thought process? Are all or most men concerned about what their pe...s looks like even if they are the only one to see it?

Lovedyoumore posted 6/26/2014 01:42 AM

My H cleaned up his privates, too. Slick as a whistle. All of it. Not for me, his OW. They were very into oral. I should have known.

Yes, among us older couples it is catching on and almost a regular thing with the youngers. I would suspect any sudden changes without good explanations. Maybe he just wanted to try it. Is he keeping it up? Enjoy it.

gotmylifeback posted 6/26/2014 02:02 AM

For me, I have been neatly trimmed down there for a long time. (Hair kept short, not down to bare skin). Its a sensory, less mess, and not as hot issue for me. But, my new wife likes and appreciates it so I do it for her too.

In contrast, ex cheater wife suddenly got a brazillian in the middle of her affair. Looking back, it was yet another indicator of her secret life that I should have recognized.

MakingMyFuture posted 6/26/2014 02:12 AM

Has he started to go gray? If he looked down and saw gray hair, he may have decided it looked better trimmed (aka I'm really not so old...see?)

MissMouseMo posted 6/26/2014 02:22 AM

Very common in my experience.

If you feel confident it's not symptomatic that he's doing anything you don't know about, it's just a fashion that's making the rounds. If he used to watch porn, that would be a very easy way to have been exposed to it (no pun intended).

tearingaway posted 6/26/2014 08:01 AM

Every guy is different, of course, but I shave it down regularly. I prefer that to having hair pulled by clothing. It feels better, feels cleaner, and I like it that way. Other men certainly do things differently.

JanaGreen posted 6/26/2014 09:02 AM

My H does this sometimes. I think it makes it look longer if it's trimmed up. He'll kill me if he sees this.

MindMonkey posted 6/26/2014 09:08 AM

My H does this sometimes. I think it makes it look longer if it's trimmed up. He'll kill me if he sees this.

Why would he kill you? I bet he'd be glad you noticed.

I started shaving down there. Bare in some areas and tidied up in others. I read once that manscaping results in more oral sex. Since I know I prefer going down on my W when she is well groomed, I figured it must be true.

FWIW, it's not really true . But I found it more comfortable and, yes, a appears to add some length . So I keep it.

Ostrich80 posted 6/26/2014 14:47 PM

My ws started doing it during the A plus because the porn industry does and he watches A LOT of porn, I figure he's thinking it looks better. Also when he sends his pix to ow and whoever else. If you know he's NC, then maybe he just likes the look. It was one of the big red flags for me because it was something out of nowhere, out of character but as you see some of the guys above do just because they like it that way

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 2:50 PM, June 26th (Thursday)]

Schadenfreude posted 6/26/2014 14:56 PM

TMI but I partially shave leaving some to prove I have some. Why? I have to stick myself with a needle in the lower, lower abdomen every day to inject a drug, and its just easier when there is no hair in the way. Similarly, with multiple EKG's done, I got real tired of the Brazilian Wax jobs on my chest. So that hair gets shaved, too. Easier to do daily with a few razor swipes than to shave off longer hair on doctor appointment days. Has nothing to do with feeling sexy or not sexy. Just medical necessity.

The downside? It grows back and creates stubble if I neglect to shave for several days. I've heard that women quit shaving "down there" for the same reason.