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BrokenButTrying posted 6/26/2014 12:33 PM

The floor is yours, gents. Have at it.

tired girl posted 6/26/2014 12:35 PM

Groan, really BBT

ButterflyGirl posted 6/26/2014 12:41 PM

Regarding your boat, unless you are abnormally large or abnormally small (in which case we will get creative), it's the motion of the ocean guys!

Now, anything else?

h0peless posted 6/26/2014 12:42 PM

silverhopes posted 6/26/2014 12:43 PM

^ Agreed!

Enthusiasm, attentiveness, being in the moment, not comparing us to another chick, unselfishness > size.

MindMonkey posted 6/26/2014 12:46 PM

Ok...

Been looking for an honest answer for a while.

W says she is PERFECTLY okay not orgasming during a sexual encounter as long as I make it otherwise enjoyable. Further she says she CANNOT O via PIV. Ever.

Both seem fishy to me.

tired girl posted 6/26/2014 12:49 PM

I would say she is probably being honest on the first one.

On the second one, has this always been the case for her, even before you? Or were you guys each others firsts?

Darkness Falls posted 6/26/2014 12:51 PM

MindMonkey,

Both of those are true for me.

ButterflyGirl posted 6/26/2014 12:51 PM

I would fully agree with her Monkey.

We don't get "blue balls." And my ex and I had NUMEROUS encounters where only he got pleasure, and it never bothered me, and I never went looking anywhere else for it. I can "do me" better than anyone else.. But, I'm working on this one, because he was far more selfish in bed than any wife should have to put up with..

And I'm in the population that *cannot* orgasm from PIV only. There has to be friction in the area just north to get me to O..

TheIrishGirl posted 6/26/2014 12:51 PM

Sex without O: still a good time.

MissMovingOn posted 6/26/2014 12:51 PM

Been looking for an honest answer for a while.

W says she is PERFECTLY okay not orgasming during a sexual encounter as long as I make it otherwise enjoyable. Further she says she CANNOT O via PIV. Ever.

Both seem fishy to me.

IME, regarding the first point I totally agree with her. I'm fine if I don't O as long as the overall experience is pleasant. I'd rather O, but I'm okay with not.

I can't relate on the second point, but I do know that this is VERY common. There are a lot of women who can't O at all, let alone O from PIV alone.

Rebreather posted 6/26/2014 12:55 PM

Uh, I prefer to O when we have sex. Call me selfish.

As for PIV, many women cannot, and I can't always, or even usually. But sometimes things line up just right. It's generally about arousal level and angles.

MindMonkey posted 6/26/2014 12:55 PM

Or were you guys each others firsts?

Yes.

But I wasn't her only. OM didn't bring her to O either, but they sucked. And I'm told they have small "boats" and calm seas.

confused615 posted 6/26/2014 12:57 PM

It's ok if I don't orgasm every time. But it depends. If we have had sex without me cumming, and the next time we do anything sexual it's me giving him a bj, then, yeah, the next time we have sex I want an orgasm. But, sometimes I am fine with having sex without the big O...as long as it doesn't become a habit.

I agree on the PIV. Many,many, many women can't O that way.

tired girl posted 6/26/2014 12:58 PM

Then it is probably her. And she is being honest.

katiescarlett posted 6/26/2014 13:00 PM

I have never had an O from PIV sex. I need clitoral stimulation. Sex still feels good though.

3kids30years posted 6/26/2014 13:00 PM

One more in agreement -

W says she is PERFECTLY okay not orgasming during a sexual encounter as long as I make it otherwise enjoyable. Further she says she CANNOT O via PIV. Ever.

I'm fine as long as the experience is pleasurable - no O "needed". Just make me feel sexy, wanted and gorgeous.

I've been with more then a "few" men before WH and NEVER O'd with only PIV. Need additional stimulation

One of the hardest things to work through is that OW did. Makes me feel defective in some way

SoCo posted 6/26/2014 13:08 PM

Ok, as too your wife MM....

I would believe her when she says she finds enjoyment even without a big O ending. I would imagine she enjoys the closeness, the sharing. Pleasing you figures in there too!

Secondly, if she has never reached O via PIV, there could be medical/phyiscal or even emotional issues to be addressed there? Talk with her about it, decide if it is important enough to you both to explore that further?

If she is open too them.... There are lots of magic potions/lotions and gels oh my!!! That can increase the stimulation of PIV.

I do believe it is the same with women as it is with with men? We all enjoy a happy ending!

Zero= enjoyable

One= more enjoyable

Two= oh hell yeah now we're talkin

You get the point? It is about personal preference. It is about the two of you.

just my two cents.

brokeninfl posted 6/26/2014 13:09 PM

W says she is PERFECTLY okay not orgasming during a sexual encounter as long as I make it otherwise enjoyable. Further she says she CANNOT O via PIV. Ever.

I'm just adding one more "me too" to this one...

ETA:

One of the hardest things to work through is that OW did. Makes me feel defective in some way

I've seen some studies that link this to the distance between the clitoris to the vaginal opening -- that means that for some women PIV actaully, DOES provide "extra" stimulation -- so don't feel defective - I think that a lot of women are in the same boat.

[This message edited by brokeninfl at 1:12 PM, June 26th (Thursday)]

Schadenfreude posted 6/26/2014 13:09 PM

OK, atom bomb time. Maybe

How many women use toys with sex to get off reliably?

How old when you started with toys?

Did S O introduce toy into relationship?

if not, when did you let SO know about BOB and you having a relationship?

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