SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Most things they do don't bother me anymore. I'm pretty proud of that, for it took a long time. ETA, the baby bag does bother me. That's my "territory".

Well, the latest in the world of NPD shenanigans is -for background-that I have to figure out how to get a job without giving much of my pay to dayare. I don't have relatives or friends to keep them while I am busy or anything like that.

Many people tell me I should be a nanny...I tell them I would simply go batty and lose it with more child care, lol!

So. Perv and his NPD self (he was diagnosed with it and doesn't believe this, lol) finds ways to say no without actually saying no. It'd be an artform if it didn't come off like such a con. So he can think and feel he is better than he is. That's my take on it.

So I broach the subject of extra visits for summertime as a break and time for a job-and two weekends a month doesn't seem like enough anyway.

Well, his reply was to refuse to give up his Saturdays for his own kids, (can't take a pack and play to the disco and poker buddies aren't always reliable) so he puts this in my face again..."Well, they could come into the week and Fatty B could keep an eye on them while I'm at work. She is wonderful with kids and they are very comfortable here."

Waaa?

I'm not going to vent, or will try not to, but why on earth would I be okay with this? He responds (email) and says, "well, this is an open offer." Like the king of catmandu. All high and mighty. WTF?

I suspect he feels like he didn't refuse and is holier than thou now because I did. He will surely return to the loveshack after work with reports that I, the dingbat, refused help. IDC. I don't care.

I put this in the NPD category and would rather continue with chronic exhaustion than let that woman be with my kids on her own. I don't even like it when he's there!

Also, I know that he'll spend eternity pushing this. You know what he said last year when I stomped during mediation saying no? He said, "Well, you'll have to meet her and then she won't be a stranger!"

Yes, I'll get right on that. Pencil her in for tea and sneak right out the other door.

I'm over being upset but felt this was one for the books. Typing sure helps get it out sometimes. Thanks, SI.

[This message edited by Ashland13 at 4:43 PM, June 26th (Thursday)]

Ummm, shouldn't he be helping by paying 50% of daycare costs? That's pretty standard. Talk to your attorney.

You know of course, that if you should ever have brain damage and actually take him up on that offer, you will never hear the end of 'how generous he is' to let Fatty B watch the kids.

I second checking with your L about sharing child care costs.

Work related child care is split between the parents in the proportion of the salaries in the state of MD.