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I need to blow off some steam. I just let Mr. Integrity get to me. I haven't yelled at him like that in 6 months. All those crickets, all that apathy...for months I was a rock and then I gave him the gift of letting him know he got to me. F**K Y**!!!

Sadly, I lost it and I gave that F**ing Narc the negative engagement he apparently craves. And my kids heard us fighting and then cried about it when they left with them. My older one sent me a rude text asking me "what the hell did you do to make dd2 cry??" Yep. I am the bad guy for being the loyal spouse, dedicated mom, the stable one, the one who apparently does not even have the F**ing right to be angry about all the crap this sniveling, lying, deceptive, selfish, arrogant douche has done, and continues to do to me, and our family.

He refuses to complete his portion of the vacation itinerary, although me and the kids are leaving Saturday. I asked for it 2 weeks ago. last week, and again by tonight, but NO, he can't do it until tomorrow night. It is my fault his plans aren't finalized, because I was too busy trying to find a job, take care of kids, and deal with legal crap initiated by him, to be able to finalize the summer vacation plans when he asked me to...therefore he wants to control the situation and punish me by withholding this information until the last minute. Yeah, that is in the best interest of the kids. Thanks F**ker.

He also is screwing with me about the money. He just sent me a note about how he liquidated $25K of stock that is a joint asset. WTF? Where does it stop?? He sends me this note right before coming to get DD2. Bad timing.

I have been served a sh*t sandwhich. Certainly I did not ask for it. Yet, I have to eat it. However, I am not going to smile while I eat it, nor will I tell people it tastes good. FU. There is a limit to the crap I can take. I really hate losing control like that, but damn, I am not made of ice.

Where do you put this anger? I want to be apathetic, but when someone continues to throw battery acid in your face, it kinda makes you mad.

He is repulsive. A cheater, lying, selfish, discusting pig that continues to make a bad situation worse.

So, he shows up and I lit him up. The kids heard. He got to see me shaken up. I am sure he loved it.

Serenity Now!

Stop holding back...you need to tell us how you really feel.

{{{Sleepless34}}}

You've done well to hold off for this long. Everyone falls off the cricket once in a while (pardon my mixed metaphors).

Losing control once like this doesn't negate all your previous hard work. As a matter of fact, you've already proven you can do it, so maybe you'll be able to last a little longer next time.

You are showing your remarkable strength. Don't feel sad about a stumble.

Thank you!

Ugh, ugh, ugh. So sorry sleepless. What a classic passive-agressive ass. He baits and baits you and then turns around and makes you feel lesser for reacting to the bait.

Ugh, I put up with that for years, too. It's a classic mind-fuck. So sorry you're feeling that rage, but this too will pass.

Back to the cricket fest.

PS - I also read his note in your other thread. What a oversized, overgrown douche. I'm so sorry. I felt rage for you, too, just reading it.

[This message edited by Artemisia at 11:15 AM, June 27th (Friday)]