All 3 of these are big triggers for me. When I confronted my H with the texts I found on DDay, his first reaction was to give me a long list of everything about me that caused him to decide his A was acceptable. On this list were issues with me not understanding how his previous knee surgeries affected him as an athlete (recreational, AP was a former athlete and understood his pain), I didn't do enough for his 40th birthday (had just gone back to work after having a baby - a colicky one) and AP would have planned a huge party for him. 4th of July last year we invited AP's family to join our party (as we had previous years before they "fell in love") and I watched all night as my H followed her like a puppy dog, then convinced me I was just being jealous and stupid when I called him on it. The anger is all building up inside me over all of this, along with the fear that somehow this will lead him back into contact with her (since she is our neighbor it wouldn't be hard). I truly don't believe he would contact her, I just hate having that nagging feeling about all of these things coming back to back to back might cause it. I'm trying to just relax and enjoy the present which has actually been pretty good - we are communicating and getting used to this new version of us and doing it together. But once I registered what all is going on next week I can't seem to quit thinking about everything. Guess I just needed to get all that out.
Well, I confronted and DD Dec 1st. Two yr plus A. I got thru triggery events. New Years was her house. Him following her. Eying her. Yup. February was our anniversary. Memorial Day we went to beach THEY went to
Advice? Change it up. Don't host party if u did last year. Go do somethg alone. Don't focus on having to do anything. Do what u want bc u are the one who was betrayed.
I did it. I won't let her infiltrate my head space if I can push her out and squash her. Good luck
