Next week is going to be rough. Probably more so since I am already worrying about it now. I am just about 7 months out from DDay. We are working hard at R and WH is doing almost all he can. I am feeling much better than even last week. Next week on Wed my H has knee surgery (scoping, not another major one), Thursday is his birthday and Friday is 4th of July.
All 3 of these are big triggers for me. When I confronted my H with the texts I found on DDay, his first reaction was to give me a long list of everything about me that caused him to decide his A was acceptable. On this list were issues with me not understanding how his previous knee surgeries affected him as an athlete (recreational, AP was a former athlete and understood his pain), I didn't do enough for his 40th birthday (had just gone back to work after having a baby - a colicky one) and AP would have planned a huge party for him. 4th of July last year we invited AP's family to join our party (as we had previous years before they "fell in love") and I watched all night as my H followed her like a puppy dog, then convinced me I was just being jealous and stupid when I called him on it.
The anger is all building up inside me over all of this, along with the fear that somehow this will lead him back into contact with her (since she is our neighbor it wouldn't be hard). I truly don't believe he would contact her, I just hate having that nagging feeling about all of these things coming back to back to back might cause it.
I'm trying to just relax and enjoy the present which has actually been pretty good - we are communicating and getting used to this new version of us and doing it together. But once I registered what all is going on next week I can't seem to quit thinking about everything.
Guess I just needed to get all that out.