BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
Crossed fingers didn't work.
They pulled me out, and his other support staff, and put two new people in that none of us trust to do what is needed with him.
He's a large man, about 350 lbs. His health isn't good. Half of what I did the past few years was "above and beyond" my duties, because I care for him and looked after him health wise. Did all the running around, made sure he ate and drank, etc. He isn't just my co-worker anymore, he's my friend, my confidant. He doesn't handle stress well, and i know when he's stressed.
We all were in a room, and the principal came in telling us where we were next year. She already said he other support staff's name into another room, which we kind of expected to happen. Then, she said which two support staff were with him. My name wasn't there. I didn't look at him. She finally said where I was, then I looked at him. He looked at me blankly and said, "but you are with me, right?" I had to tell him no. I watched the colour drain out of his face, and he started shaking. I was afraid he was going to have a heart attack on the spot.
I couldn't get him to leave the room for lunch, or come down for the goodbye speeches. He went to the principal and lost his cookies on her. He applied for a job at another school that I know he doesn't want. He told the principal she was wrong. He's never complained, never asked for anything, and she had no right to gut his program without any feedback from him.
I was so worried about him, I called his wife, telling her what happened, and I was afraid he wouldn't make it home. She knows I'd jump through fire for him. Managed to get him to go for a drink after work, where we talked. He said he felt like we were getting a forced divorce. It kind of is like that.
I've been put into alt ed, instead of special ed. This is a CYW position, and I'm not a CYW. I'm a DSW. My weakness is the counselling end. That's what I'm going to be doing, for kids that have HUGE problems. Met with the department head and was basically told she won't back me up if I F up. Yeah, I'm feeling the love.
The teacher I'm leaving came into my life at the right time. 5 years ago, my XH walked. The next school year I was not in a happy school placement, but it didn't matter, I was in such a fog trying to figure out what happened to my life. I met him the next year when I moved to this school, but in a different room. Our boys both played the same sports, and we got along well. The next year, I became his support team. This 3 years has been wonderful. He helped me gain my confidence back, to know I was a great person, that I was good at my job, that even without XH, I was worthy of good things.
I'm mourning tonight. I know he's home safe, his wife knows where his head space is, and he's ok. I'm sitting here getting hammered, because I know my life next Sept is going through another major change. My son is off to college, 6 hours away. One of my BFF's who lives across the street is moving 6 hours away to the same city my son is going to. She's also my hair dresser, so I'm losing that too. And now, I'm losing my heaven work place to go back to what looks like hell.
I'm very sad, grieving, but I know this past 3 years with him has given me the strength to get through this, to be able to stay confident even when things are going to be rough. I'll miss him terribly in my day to day life, but our friendship is strong. I told him tonight what a world of difference he made in my life. I was very lucky to have the 3 years with him. I just pray he is able to adapt, or retire,(he can in November, although his plan was to stay for 2 more years) and have some healthy years to enjoy.
Me? I'll just muddle through, again, somehow.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.