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Sleepingbeauty posted 6/27/2014 08:08 AM

My STBXH is a very selfish man(understatement of the year). Anyway he made a financial offer fof what amount to be getting screwed over gain. I am disabled and can not work so I will have to make sure I get a lasting settlement.

I countered offered and included the vehicles and things like that. I also included his humidors, he told me I could keep them. Like what good would they do me?

Doe anybody know how to settle financially without it getting ugly? The divorce itself is going to be ugly enough.

cvs2kkids posted 6/27/2014 08:14 AM

((SB))

It rarely happens. You can try mediation, but that only works if both partners are open to discussion.

In your case, with you being unable to work, you'll probably need a lot more then he will willingly give up. So unless you're willing to lower your lifestyle with what he offers, or he realizes he'll need to anty up more under the circumstances, I would prepare for court appearances.

Nature_Girl posted 6/27/2014 09:53 AM

Mediation only works if both parties want it to work and are already close to being on the same page. I'm thinking that you'll be needing to go to a judge, because it's judges who make decisions for you and can/will force someone to do something. A mediator's job is to get an agreement, any agreement, and not "care" if one party is happy about it or not.

I think you'll be needing your official declarations/findings that you're disabled and cannot work in order to sway a judge to write a decision that protects you. Even then, you also need to be prepared that your STBX may still find ways not to provide support to you.

Sleepingbeauty posted 6/27/2014 21:03 PM

He is also trying to intimidate me into agreement he is offering. I don't think he understands I am fight for my life.

Nature_Girl posted 6/27/2014 21:05 PM

Honey, he understands. He just doesn't give a shit. (((HUGS)))

nekorb posted 6/27/2014 22:15 PM

^^^^ what she said

dmari posted 6/27/2014 22:41 PM

I'm sorry to say but I don't know if there is a way to settle financial issues in your situation without it getting ugly. You may have to do some research on your own or hire an attorney with experience in divorce and disability.

Are you receiving SSDI or any other type of government assistance? I think it may be helpful to document the amount of support you relied on from him throughout your marriage.

It does not seem as if your stbxh gives a shit about anyone but himself so you are going to have to advocate HARD for yourself. You CAN do this! Good luck!!

sparkysable posted 6/28/2014 08:07 AM

This is no time to be nice or screw around. This is the rest of your life you're talking about here. A good lawyer will be money well spent. Do not deal with this asshole without the support of a lawyer with experience in this issue.