SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just feeling like crap today. Nothing in particular happened but I am very on edge. My H is leaving in 9 days to go away with the military for 3 weeks and I am afraid he will do something stupid. He has been great since d-day, being open and fully committed to us but this will be a test for me. His cheating has nothing to so with the military and the 1 woman in his unit is lesbian but I am still nervous and it sucks.

I hate not being able to trust him anymore :-(

Just needed to vent.

My MC characterizes post-A injuries as injuries of attachment and this seems to fit, at least for me. Pre-A we trusted that when our spouse left our sight, s/he would still exist to us as they usually did (loyal, committed). This is much like how a toddler learns to trust that mom still exists and is still mom when she is in another room. The A changed that and there is increased anxiety about what we took for granted before. Of course you're edgy, even though his cheating is not related to the military and he won't be around eligible women. You can't see him and so you don't feel that connection to him. Is there any way that he can Skype with you or connect with you in other ways to help with this?

He will be out in the woods training for 12 of the days he is there so no possibility of Skype. I will get a few phone calls or text messages but that is all.

Your analogy makes perfect sense to me. That is just how I feel.