Read the thread in here called "Before you say R..." It's wonderful for laying out the needs of a BS.
I had these:
100% transparency and accountability
Recognizing that I was in no way responsible for the EAs
No alone time with feminine women
The truth about the worst of what she did
I did the 180 until she agreed and we were separated in-house. I told her to start looking for an apartment when she decided to meet my needs for R.
Risk you relationship to save it.