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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: Selfish People - didn't know where to put this
wannabenormal
♀ 19772
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I the only one that thinks people, mostly in general, are just selfish and self-centered these days?

Talking to a good GF tonight, she's been through the wringer and not one of her siblings helped her in her time of need...but a couple have crawled out of woodwork because they need her. Really?

Like she's 1 of 5; she's BEEN taking care of their parents...no help from siblings and now one 'needs' something and thinks she should help. After 20+ yrs of helping everyone else, she said no this time (the sibling is all mad).

I'm proud of her...but it made me realize, most people are just so selfish! Because she's doing ok, she SHOULD help (nevermind when she wasn't, he did nothing! Grrr!)

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 11:42 PM, June 27th (Friday)]



Posts: 14427 | Registered: Jun 2008
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ 13333
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 6:27 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's probably a generalization, and I try to find the good in people, but I do know what you mean.

I have a friend. He lives on the *west* side and his family all lives on the *east* side. When his parents need help, *west* side is beckoned. Drive plowed? West helps. Lawn mowed? West. Gpa died (on east side), West has to go every day and turn on lights/off lights, gather mail, etc. etc.

West works 3 jobs just to keep his head above water and has 2 young children. But can his brothers ever lift a finger to help? Nope. But will he say anything like "Hey East, I will mow the lawn on Saturday if you can mow it on Wed!" But he won't. He is a doormat to his selfish siblings and it drives his wife & me crazy


Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.

Posts: 6770 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
lynnm1947
♀ 15300
Member # 15300
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the other hand, I had a wonderful example of unselfishness happen to me lately. I went to Home Sense to buy a mirror. The mirror I chose was so heavy, I couldn't even lift it into a cart. I'm strong, but my hands are arthritic and are sometimes prone to not working. A young couple nearby saw me and the girl said, "Could I volunteer my boyfriend to help you?" Boyfriend didn't just lift it into a cart for me; he carried it all the way to the checkout line and spent another ten minutes waiting for me to actually get through the lineup and in front of the cashier. I was so thankful. And gratified that kindness to strangers is still valued in some young people.


Age: 64..ummmmmmm, no...............65....no...oh, hell born in 1947. You figure it out!

"I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance." Garth Brooks


Posts: 7518 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Toronto, Canada
Clarrissa
♀ 21886
Member # 21886
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Know what you mean, wanna. I've been in your GFs place. Essentially unnoticed until someone needs/wants something. And they took for granted that I would accomodate them. If I didn't, they'd act affronted. Reverse the situation and they couldn't be bothered/had an excuse why they couldn't.

So yeah, I'd have to agree that overall, people are selfish/self entitled and have gotten more so in recent years.


BH Cee64D - 48
WW (me) - 49


All affairs are variations on a theme. No one has 'Beethoven's 5th' to everyone else's 'Chopsticks'.


Posts: 5896 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: A better place
Sad in AZ
♀ 24239
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You could, of course, turn this around and ask why are some people doormats? There is nothing noble about being walked over all the time.

I hate generalizations, and this one is a doozy.

people, mostly in general, are just selfish and self-centered

This has not been my experience. Some are; most are not. Perhaps you could concentrate on helping your friend get healthy rather than castigating society.


Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the tylenol?

Posts: 20559 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
time2grow
♂ 35983
Member # 35983
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Am I the only one that thinks people, mostly in general, are just selfish and self-centered these days?

Everyone to some degree has issues to work on. I know I do. What I find disappointing is narcissism is rampant. Most don't see it in themselves and they don't want to.


Posts: 1722 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Missouri
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 8:26 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After 20+ yrs of helping everyone else, she said no this time

It sounds like your friend has conditioned/trained people in her life to come to her when they need something. Firming up her boundaries now is healthy, but she should expect some backlash as people get used to the new boundaries, because 20+ years is a lot of reinforcement for her old boundaries (or lack thereof).


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13934 | Registered: Jul 2011
Topic Posts: 7

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