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myheadreallyhurt posted 6/28/2014 21:11 PM

So he moved into his apartment 2 weeks ago in order to do what he calls his experiment. He wants to see how hefeels wwithout me and the kids. He has been breaking NC for a few months now but hadn't actually physically cheated on me in about a year. He flew OW in tonight. They're at my favorite store that I used to take him to. I feel so sick and dirty. He came last night. Told me he loved me, had sex with me, then left. Now he's with her, right this second and iI feel so sick. I just need a hug or something.

meplusfour posted 6/28/2014 21:30 PM

((myheadreallyhurt))

I'm so sorry, my heart breaks for you. Gently, he is showing you who he truly is and what his words mean. For your own sake and the sake of your children, you must detach and protect yourself. You know what you need to do, you deserve so much better.

Sending you grace, dignity and strength.

myheadreallyhurt posted 6/28/2014 21:37 PM

I'm really trying and my awesome therapist is trying but iI am so deep in the throes of codependency it's hard. In starting al anon meetings this next week. He's a recovering alcoholic and a not so recovering sex addict. His addiction counselor has not helped curb the behavior at all.

Badhurt posted 6/28/2014 21:41 PM

Please do yourself a favor and detach from this man. Do not provide his with any more sex or any comfort and you will feel better. You should tell him YOU have decided the result of his experiment and that that result is that he needs to sign a long term lease on his apartment because he is not moving back in with you.
See an attorney and find out your rights ASAP and document what he is doing, including saving written communication.
You will feel better that you have regained your dignity.
He does not deserve you

lilacs40 posted 6/28/2014 21:54 PM

Just sending a hug and prayer for strength to do what you need to do.

Kajem posted 6/28/2014 22:54 PM

(((((myheadreallyhurt)))))

We're here holding your hand, and sending strength.

Taking her to your favorite store is low.

More hugs,

K

nekorb posted 6/28/2014 22:54 PM

(((hugs)))

I'm so sorry.

Please don't have sex with this man again. It is keeping you tied into him emotionally. You must detach and save yourself from any further pain.

He's cake eating.

CLOSE the bakery!

You AND your children deserve better than what he's giving you right now.

kick his ass to the curb.

Do you have an attorney?

Jomarion posted 7/2/2014 19:30 PM

Myheadreallyhurts, he is being a total slob and uncaring of you and your feelings. Take back your power. How DARE he be so callous and abusive of your feelings. I am co-dependent and struggling in similar ways, so I understand the agony - my WBF took the OW to our 'special town', and bought her a present, the same he bought for me, with me actually there in the store begging him not to hurt me and buy it!! Sounds like this guy is of the same cut: insensitive, cruel, and cold. (Experiment? Experiment using your love??? How dare he?? Your love is not like a frog to be dissected)
Makes me want to
I hope I have not spoken too strongly and hurt you further.

Try your best to look after YOURSELF. You deserve better.