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So, where is your husband?

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littlefoggy posted 6/28/2014 21:45 PM

So, where is your husband?
I dunno... with his girlfriend?

I have been asked this question by at least 3 different people while out and about with DD. I think at least one was trying to do the "is she attached?" (not-so) subtle question. But OMG is that freaking awkward?

Way to assume, guys. I am never going to figure out this new world order.

I reply "No... no husband" and hold up my un-ringed left hand.

I wear NO rings on any finger. No mistakes. Just do a (not-so) subtle glance at my left hand. I don't mind.

But please, for the love of God, don't make me answer awkward questions about my kid's sperm contributor.

newlysingle posted 6/29/2014 00:36 AM

I proudly say "I don't have one".

latebloomer45 posted 6/29/2014 01:03 AM

Or, as one SI member used to have in her signature-
"I dumped him because I didn't like his girlfriend."

(Maybe not in front of DD)

SBB posted 6/29/2014 02:42 AM

I get asked this a lot too. I think they think it's a cute way of asking if we are single. I don't like it either.

I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.
It illicits a rather nervous laugh.

luv2swim posted 6/29/2014 02:48 AM

My answer:
"You know, I loved my husband. But honestly, I did not love his mistress. So... we are now divorced. Comprende?"

ImEnoughForMe posted 6/29/2014 07:56 AM

I've got this too. I don't know if it's a good thing for me or not, but my ex used to "fish" for information - I got real good at recognizing it AND ignoring it. It's continued on without him.

Ask me straight out or you don't get an answer.

littlefoggy posted 6/29/2014 12:27 PM

I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.

Maybe if I want the person to go away

I do like the ignore it unless you ask directly approach.

Pass posted 6/29/2014 13:38 PM

I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.

We think alike, SBB. I have been known to say, "Dying by the side of the road somewhere, if there is any justice."

Once this prompted a lecture on how horrible I would feel if she really did die. I probably only made things worse when I said that I'd love to test that theory.

Seriously, they expect a warm, mature response from someone who is divorcing?

Ashland13 posted 6/29/2014 13:54 PM

"Flew de coup".

People can do what they will with the response.

Often said with baby in hand.

Gemini71 posted 6/29/2014 19:45 PM

I haven't been asked this yet, so I'm taking notes for future reference.

I'd like to humbly suggest the following..

"I don't know. Where's your wife?" or "With your wife."

"Don't know, don't care."

"I invoke my 5th amendment right not to incriminate myself."

SBB posted 6/29/2014 20:45 PM

I probably only made things worse when I said that I'd love to test that theory.

After the nervous laughter I have been scolded for incriminating myself in case something bad does happen to him. I laughed and said I'll be suspect Número Uno no matter what I do so why not have a laugh?

I don't actually wish him death. But if it happens and magpies are involved at least he'll have an ironic death. I'd also be more careful with this superpower in future.

Plinker77 posted 6/30/2014 09:20 AM

I know it's awkward. Hope it gets better.

EvenKeel posted 6/30/2014 12:35 PM

On the positive least they are checking to see if there is a husband before hitting on you.

libertyrocks posted 6/30/2014 16:35 PM

It depends, if it's a friend I haven't seen in a while, I tell them we've been seperated. If they inquire more, I just tell them straight out. If it's his extended family, I just tell them "he's at work." haha Because there's really no difference. I used to go to all his family events without him anyways.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 4:36 PM, June 30th (Monday)]

PhantomLimb posted 7/1/2014 09:37 AM

I keep getting hit on by boys in their 20s for some reason. Three this week. They always say the same two things: "I didn't realize you are in your 30s" (mid-30s at that!) and then "How is it that you're not married?"

It's the first time I've been getting that last question. It really has shocked me! All I've been able to answer is "I was. It didn't work out." That has usually been a conversation killer, thankfully.

Amazonia posted 7/1/2014 09:43 AM

PL, I am fond of rolling my eyes and saying, "Oh god, I used to be, thank GOODNESS I got rid of him!" when I get asked why I'm not married by someone whose business it's not.

Sadmumma posted 7/1/2014 09:51 AM

I say "he's not with us any more" or "its just me and the girls"

Kajem posted 7/1/2014 10:31 AM

I wish they would just ask.

ManBearDivorce posted 7/1/2014 19:11 PM

For me I think just the way you look and feel tells a lot about yourself. When I first went out I was miserable and most people assumed I was still married. Fast forward 2 years and people don't even bother to ask but assume I am single because I have a nice big smile on my stinking face!!!!

Sleepingbeauty posted 7/1/2014 19:25 PM

This hasn't happened yet. I am still trying to tan the line and fatten my finger up so the mark doesn't show anymore. Twenty+years has left a definite mark.

I am looking forward to the first one who asks that question. Still have to think of the answer bu may keep some of these in mind.

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