"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

hopefulmom posted 6/29/2014 05:19 AM

My daughter got married yesterday. Beautiful day!
She invited her father and grandmother despite having little to no contact over the past six years.
I dreaded the receiving line but put my best face forward...even hugged my ex. My former mother in law put out her hand to shake mine... Huh?!? Oh so cold!! I forced her to hug me. Lol
I am still baffled. I mean really a hand shake? We were hugging everyone who paraded through the line. And the best she could do was a handshake? What did I do now? :)

fireproof posted 6/29/2014 06:37 AM

Congrats on your daughter! Congrats on also not letting them take away who you are!

A similar thing happened to me and I think it is that we somehow turned their son who had perfect values because they raised him did this and it MUST be our fault. We tainted his values by causing him to cheat- we are the enemy

Like my ex in laws I have fond memories and will keep those and I see their behavior at the time and now an indicator why my ex can't take responsibility for his affair. I feel sorry for all of them.

Enjoy your daughter's happiness and celebrate the authentic and caring person you are

[This message edited by fireproof at 6:38 AM, June 29th (Sunday)]

Ashland13 posted 6/29/2014 14:31 PM

What a great job you did. I dread the days when OW starts to show herself at DD and DS events.

Recently my sister got married and many eyes were on her walk down the aisle as my divorced parents each gave her away. They have perfect poker faces as my father always wished it, guess I wrote that just to say I can appreciate your post.

Don't forget, we don't know the lies our IL's are told by the x and ow/oms. I don't really know if it's something you did, rather, what's in her head.

FWIW to add that mine are even angry because I can't hang around with them lately-x is still lying about me as we go through court process and she enjoys all of their occasions.

I hope to have the composure you did.

strawblond30 posted 6/29/2014 22:20 PM

You made yourself strong and lived the moment ! That's awesome . I still get along with my ex in laws probably better then my ex does.

NaiveAgain posted 7/1/2014 06:29 AM

My former mother in law

She's your former MIL. Don't stress over it. Not important any more.

What did I do now?

Why do you think it is something you did? Very good chance she was just uncomfortable because of everything that happened....

Don't forget, we don't know the lies our IL's are told by the x and ow/oms.

There is also a very good chance of that.....

Again, who cares? Not that important at this point...you are moving forward, not living in the past. She is your past.

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 6:30 AM, July 1st (Tuesday)]