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Newest Member: drummerwife (46039)

User Topic: started smoking
Numb2014
♀ 43919
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

anyone else start this habit after everything? I never crave a cigarette until shit like this happens.

i just want to sleep through this.


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
IrishGirlVA
♀ 39694
Member # 39694
Default  Posted: 12:06 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always smoked but found myself smoking even more after my DDay. A few months ago I started getting one of those smoker coughs which got really bad at night when I laid down to sleep. So a couple weeks ago I switched to e-cigs (vaping) and I have felt so much better.

Is that something you might want to try doing?

I still get my nicotine fix and the smoking sensation that helps take the edge off.


Me, the "B": 42yo
Him, the "W": 38yo
DDay: June 2013
Status: Over

Posts: 370 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
incredulous.me
♂ 34852
Member # 34852
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found great comfort in the odd packet alright


Separated after too many disappointments to list. Doing great.

Posts: 32 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Ireland
craig2001
♂ 55
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

E-Cigs are the way to go. The nicotine helps and you dont have to deal with all the chemicals or smoke in the cigarettes. I smoked so much after DD, I thought I would get COPD right then and there.

Posts: 4443 | Registered: Jun 2002
Mercilesslynuked
♂ 42997
Member # 42997
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll vouch for the ecigs as well. I went from a half pack per day to 1.5/day. The smokers cough and threat of copd, alpha 1 antitrypsin, heart and lung diseases etc somehow became more real when my consumption increased substantially. For me it was realizing that if I had the power to survive infidelity, quitting smoking should be a walk in the park.

As an aside, some antidepressants also are used to help quit smoking, ask a doctor about this and two birds one stone it!


Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.

D-day 1/6/2014-1/23/2014


Posts: 174 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Colorado
EvenKeel
♀ 24210
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand that you mean. I am not a smoker (ie since HS) and found myself many times of almost stopping to buy some during that stage (through D).

I was able to hang tough.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2274 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
k9lover1
♀ 8531
Member # 8531
Default  Posted: 2:49 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had quit smoking about a year before DDay. But I swore I would not go back to smoking.

He has just severly wounded me, why would I want to hurt myself even more by smoking again?

I still haven't picked up a cig and don't intend to.

Put them down right now, quit before you get too entrenched in them again.

I'm speaking not only as a former smoker, but a cancer survivor.

PUT THE CIGARETTE DOWN!!


D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late.

Posts: 8119 | Registered: Oct 2005 | From: Wisconsin
hopefull77
♀ 43221
Member # 43221
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was a 'social smoker' quit for over a year...started up when he started withdrawing...I had no idea why he was withdrawing....now I still do buy a few packs a week....definitely a crutch....


me-BS
him-WS
3 adult children 1D 2S
married-1977
LTA 06-2010 - 11-2012
D-day - 11-11-2012
status - reconciling and very hopeful
"Let Go of Control; Let God's Life Flow" ...Richard Rohr



Posts: 703 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: sunny california
Jls0320
♀ 41192
Member # 41192
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had quit for nearly 7 yrs, started up shortly before d day, now I'm struggling to quit again


Me: 33 BS 2 boys (2yr & 5yr)
Him: 33 WH, sex addict, then 12 mos EA/2 mos PA with co-worker whore
Together 15yrs, married 7yrs
Dday 9/17/2014, 1/26/14, 7/28/14 broke NC, 8/7/14 (papers served that day) 2 mos PA began. Separated, R during divorce?

Posts: 529 | Registered: Nov 2013
stunnedmullet
♀ 42975
Member # 42975
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was so very close to starting again after not smoking for about 5 years. I fell pregnant during HB so it helped me not start again. But boy do I crave them desperately on those hard days


DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)

BS (me) 40
WH 38
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years

4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA

Us together 20 years, married 17 and 6 kids

I always thought I was enough but obviously not!


Posts: 232 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Australia
justafarmgal
♀ 43510
Member # 43510
Default  Posted: 2:05 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I quit for two years, but after D-Day, I took it up again and am having a hard time putting them down. Actually I'm smoking more than I ever did! I know I need to stop, but just can't seem to let go.

Posts: 7 | Registered: May 2014 | From: justafarmgal
BrokenheartedUK
♀ 43520
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Me!! The first two weeks I was practically chain smoking in the garden but that's calmed down to about 2 packs a week. What the hell. I figure in the shit storm that is my life, I'm not going to get too excited about this one part of it.

I may try the e-cigs though...


Dday: 4th of January, 2014
WH 50
BS 49
18 years of marriage...three children
One affair PA/EA
"A long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better then the last" Counting Crows

Posts: 305 | Registered: May 2014
craig2001
♂ 55
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two things increased dramatically after Dday, smoking and swearing.

Smoking because of constant nerves and thinking.

Swearing because regular English did not seem to work. Slow English did not seem to work.

If I knew Greek, I would have tried that.

Nicotine can help with dementia and Parkinsons. Plus, every time you eat a tomato, you are getting some nicotine.

Now I have to unlearn swearing, since that didnt help either.


Posts: 4443 | Registered: Jun 2002
BrokenheartedUK
♀ 43520
Member # 43520
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes Craig that's true about the swearing too! Ha! I texted the OW the night I found out off my husband's phone calling her a C*** and I've used that word practically once a day for six months. I NEVER used that word before but now...

The things you do and say when you've been betrayed. Who knew?


Dday: 4th of January, 2014
WH 50
BS 49
18 years of marriage...three children
One affair PA/EA
"A long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better then the last" Counting Crows

Posts: 305 | Registered: May 2014
imarriedmymother
♂ 34360
Member # 34360
Default  Posted: 12:33 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Occasional cigar before D-Day, 1/2 pack a day since.

FUCK CIGARETTES!!!.............anybody got a light?

fuck me..........


M 24 yrs
DD 9/9/11
Drunken ONS w/aquaintance, EA/PA with co-worker. Moved in w/AP 10/1/11, Kicked Out 12/19/11
Recongealed

24 years down the tubes, but at least I lost my man boobs.


Posts: 81 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: upper u.s.
Jomarion
♀ 43659
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup, I started to smoke too. 'They' were always going outside to smoke 'together', so I started to join in. Did not think I would get hooked, but I did. I have since quit though, after a year of smoking. The e-cigarettes helped a lot, also visiting my mother, who would've gone ballistic if she knew I was smoking, so it pushed me to stop. I am just damn angry at myself that I hurt my wonderful body and started to smoke because of those s---s. I should've walked away and let them go at it, I was worth more.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 203 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
blindsided14
♂ 43266
Member # 43266
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm in the same boat. Used to smoke about five cigs a day when at wprk and almost never at home. Now anywhere from 1/2 to 1 pack a day (and I smoke more when i'm at home - when i'm triggering or need to step away or am reading/posting on SI).

Maybe I'll try the e-cigs as well. What brand do you guys use? I've tried a few and haven't found any of them to be very satisfying.


I guess it's game on . . .

Posts: 58 | Registered: Apr 2014
craig2001
♂ 55
Member # 55
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got the Halo G6 starter kit and use the mini tanks instead of cartridges. And buy the bottles of liquid and fill the mini tanks. Cheaper than buying cartridges.

Posts: 4443 | Registered: Jun 2002
Numb2014
♀ 43919
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lucky for me, I can't stand the taste/smell so it's not sticking.

I'm forcing myself to eat. Since yesterday am, I've inky eaten 1 egg burrito and one bowl of ramen and lots of coffee.

Just in so much pain. I stand firm in that I won't R, but it still fucking hurts that I wasn't worth the fight.


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
EmbraceTheChange
♀ 43247
Member # 43247
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep,I started smoking again, a month after Dday (after not smoking for 14 years). At one point, I got so stressed that I would pretty much smoke 3 cigarettes, one after the other, especially when he would tell me the contents of some texts between him and COW.

I'm still smoking, though i say to myself that I'm just on a break from non-smoking (if that makes sense), and also that I am not a true smoker since I don't have an ashtray. Yes, I do have cigarettes and a lighter, but it's the ashtray that would make me into a real hardcore smoker. So I'm all right. :)


BH: me (40)
WH: him (45)
5 kids. Together for 20 years
*Separated*

My husband had an EA (PA?) with a co-worker the whole of 2013. I caught a text just before Thanksgiving. And the rest is history.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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