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Just Found Out :
started smoking

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 Numb2014 (original poster member #43919) posted at 5:45 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

anyone else start this habit after everything? I never crave a cigarette until shit like this happens.

i just want to sleep through this.

BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

posts: 233   ·   registered: Jun. 29th, 2014
id 6854636
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IrishGirlVA ( member #39694) posted at 6:06 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

I always smoked but found myself smoking even more after my DDay. A few months ago I started getting one of those smoker coughs which got really bad at night when I laid down to sleep. So a couple weeks ago I switched to e-cigs (vaping) and I have felt so much better.

Is that something you might want to try doing?

I still get my nicotine fix and the smoking sensation that helps take the edge off.

posts: 1642   ·   registered: Jun. 27th, 2013   ·   location: Virginia
id 6854671
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incredulous.me ( new member #34852) posted at 6:17 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

I found great comfort in the odd packet alright

Separated after too many disappointments to list. Doing great.

posts: 33   ·   registered: Feb. 17th, 2012   ·   location: Ireland
id 6854686
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craig2001 ( member #55) posted at 6:34 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

E-Cigs are the way to go. The nicotine helps and you dont have to deal with all the chemicals or smoke in the cigarettes. I smoked so much after DD, I thought I would get COPD right then and there.

posts: 7391   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2002   ·   location: USA
id 6854703
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Mercilesslynuked ( member #42997) posted at 7:00 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

I'll vouch for the ecigs as well. I went from a half pack per day to 1.5/day. The smokers cough and threat of copd, alpha 1 antitrypsin, heart and lung diseases etc somehow became more real when my consumption increased substantially. For me it was realizing that if I had the power to survive infidelity, quitting smoking should be a walk in the park.

As an aside, some antidepressants also are used to help quit smoking, ask a doctor about this and two birds one stone it!

Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.

D-day 1/6/2014-1/23/2014

posts: 194   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2014   ·   location: Colorado
id 6854735
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 8:02 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

I understand that you mean. I am not a smoker (ie since HS) and found myself many times of almost stopping to buy some during that stage (through D).

I was able to hang tough.

posts: 6985   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 6854818
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k9lover1 ( member #8531) posted at 8:49 PM on Monday, June 30th, 2014

I had quit smoking about a year before DDay. But I swore I would not go back to smoking.

He has just severly wounded me, why would I want to hurt myself even more by smoking again?

I still haven't picked up a cig and don't intend to.

Put them down right now, quit before you get too entrenched in them again.

I'm speaking not only as a former smoker, but a cancer survivor.

PUT THE CIGARETTE DOWN!!

D-Day was 10/9/05
He promised NC. He lied. After 4 chances, I kicked him out 1/05/06.
Since then I have survived cancer surgery and a heart attack.
Now he's sorry, but it's too late. He died an alcoholic on 9/5/17.

posts: 8165   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2005   ·   location: Wisconsin
id 6854882
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hopefull77 ( member #43221) posted at 1:31 AM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

I was a 'social smoker' quit for over a year...started up when he started withdrawing...I had no idea why he was withdrawing....now I still do buy a few packs a week....definitely a crutch....

me-BS him-WS

" I will not define myself by what went wrong yesterday when I can draw upon Life and Love right now."

posts: 2885   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2014   ·   location: sunny california
id 6855313
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Jls0320 ( member #41192) posted at 4:52 AM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

I had quit for nearly 7 yrs, started up shortly before d day, now I'm struggling to quit again

Me: BS 2 young kiddos
Him: EXWH, SA/NPD, Craigslist, porn, cam sites. EA/PA with disgusting co-worker troll
Too many DDays 9/13-1/15, too many chances to be a good man
Together 16 yrs, married 7yrs,
Divorced 2/11/15
I deserve to be the ONLY one

posts: 1960   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2013
id 6855562
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stunnedmullet ( member #42975) posted at 7:08 AM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

I was so very close to starting again after not smoking for about 5 years. I fell pregnant during HB so it helped me not start again. But boy do I crave them desperately on those hard days

DD April Fools Day 2014 (unfortunately no joke)

BS (me) 45
WH 43
OW - a friend of WH for 5 years

4 month EA which turned into a 5 month PA

married 22 and 7 kids

Attempted reconciliation for 18 months until he walked out without warning

posts: 367   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Australia
id 6855647
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justafarmgal ( new member #43510) posted at 8:05 AM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

I quit for two years, but after D-Day, I took it up again and am having a hard time putting them down. Actually I'm smoking more than I ever did! I know I need to stop, but just can't seem to let go.

posts: 7   ·   registered: May. 23rd, 2014   ·   location: justafarmgal
id 6855660
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 1:55 PM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

Me!! The first two weeks I was practically chain smoking in the garden but that's calmed down to about 2 packs a week. What the hell. I figure in the shit storm that is my life, I'm not going to get too excited about this one part of it.

I may try the e-cigs though...

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3432   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 6855811
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craig2001 ( member #55) posted at 2:14 PM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

Two things increased dramatically after Dday, smoking and swearing.

Smoking because of constant nerves and thinking.

Swearing because regular English did not seem to work. Slow English did not seem to work.

If I knew Greek, I would have tried that.

Nicotine can help with dementia and Parkinsons. Plus, every time you eat a tomato, you are getting some nicotine.

Now I have to unlearn swearing, since that didnt help either.

posts: 7391   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2002   ·   location: USA
id 6855837
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BrokenheartedUK ( member #43520) posted at 2:18 PM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

Yes Craig that's true about the swearing too! Ha! I texted the OW the night I found out off my husband's phone calling her a C*** and I've used that word practically once a day for six months. I NEVER used that word before but now...

The things you do and say when you've been betrayed. Who knew?

Me: BS
He cheated and then lied. Apparently cheaters lie. Huh. 13 months of false R. Divorced! 8/16 3 teenage kids
"The barn's burnt down
Now
I can see the moon"
-Mizuta Masahide

posts: 3432   ·   registered: May. 24th, 2014
id 6855843
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imarriedmymother ( member #34360) posted at 6:33 PM on Tuesday, July 1st, 2014

Occasional cigar before D-Day, 1/2 pack a day since.

FUCK CIGARETTES!!!.............anybody got a light?

fuck me..........

M 24 yrs
DD 9/9/11
Drunken ONS w/aquaintance, EA/PA with co-worker. Moved in w/AP 10/1/11, Kicked Out 12/19/11
Recongealed

24 years down the tubes, but at least I lost my man boobs.

posts: 93   ·   registered: Jan. 1st, 2012   ·   location: upper u.s.
id 6856227
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Jomarion ( member #43659) posted at 1:26 AM on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

Yup, I started to smoke too. 'They' were always going outside to smoke 'together', so I started to join in. Did not think I would get hooked, but I did. I have since quit though, after a year of smoking. The e-cigarettes helped a lot, also visiting my mother, who would've gone ballistic if she knew I was smoking, so it pushed me to stop. I am just damn angry at myself that I hurt my wonderful body and started to smoke because of those s---s. I should've walked away and let them go at it, I was worth more.

me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

posts: 298   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 6856781
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blindsided14 ( member #43266) posted at 1:39 AM on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

I'm in the same boat. Used to smoke about five cigs a day when at wprk and almost never at home. Now anywhere from 1/2 to 1 pack a day (and I smoke more when i'm at home - when i'm triggering or need to step away or am reading/posting on SI).

Maybe I'll try the e-cigs as well. What brand do you guys use? I've tried a few and haven't found any of them to be very satisfying.

I guess it's game on . . .

posts: 58   ·   registered: Apr. 28th, 2014
id 6856804
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craig2001 ( member #55) posted at 2:13 AM on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

I got the Halo G6 starter kit and use the mini tanks instead of cartridges. And buy the bottles of liquid and fill the mini tanks. Cheaper than buying cartridges.

posts: 7391   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2002   ·   location: USA
id 6856846
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 Numb2014 (original poster member #43919) posted at 2:35 AM on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

Lucky for me, I can't stand the taste/smell so it's not sticking.

I'm forcing myself to eat. Since yesterday am, I've inky eaten 1 egg burrito and one bowl of ramen and lots of coffee.

Just in so much pain. I stand firm in that I won't R, but it still fucking hurts that I wasn't worth the fight.

BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

posts: 233   ·   registered: Jun. 29th, 2014
id 6856879
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EmbraceTheChange ( member #43247) posted at 2:51 AM on Wednesday, July 2nd, 2014

Yep,I started smoking again, a month after Dday (after not smoking for 14 years). At one point, I got so stressed that I would pretty much smoke 3 cigarettes, one after the other, especially when he would tell me the contents of some texts between him and COW.

I'm still smoking, though i say to myself that I'm just on a break from non-smoking (if that makes sense), and also that I am not a true smoker since I don't have an ashtray. Yes, I do have cigarettes and a lighter, but it's the ashtray that would make me into a real hardcore smoker. So I'm all right. :)

I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination

posts: 1252   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Near Fort Worth, TX
id 6856911
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