Ugh MissP. That's heartbreaking. Please know that this is not your fault no matter what your background or education. These things become impossible to negotiate sometimes when your loved one's are involved. Your husband is clearly broken.
Going forward, please for yourself, no more compromises. Ever. Unless you enjoy the open marriage lifestyle then all the power to you. Doesn't sound like you really wanted to be in that position though. So no more compromises regardless. You have to stand up for yourself and start playing hardball with an unremorseful H. Yes, unremorseful. It's too early for him to have full remorse. He's in the regret for getting caught stage. Him going to independent counseling (IC) is a good first start.
Next up, consult with a lawyer. This does not mean you have to file for divorce. Consulting with an attorney will serve multiple purposes. If anything should happen and go south, you will know your rights. Knowing your rights will give you insight into any sort of decisions you want to or don't want to make. It will also show your H that you are not screwing around and are now standing up for yourself.
Gently here, he's a liar and a cheat. Who knows what else he has done. I bet you do not know the entire truth yet. Please get tested for STDs. There are so many here who wound up with something they didn't want because someone in the relationship was lying even though they swear that they weren't when using/not using protection. If he was "living life to it's fullest", you can be guaranteed protection was not used. Other's in open M's here found the same and it was another trust that had been broken.
You have seen what playing the nice wife has gotten you. You cannot nice your H back into an infidelity free relationship if that is what you want. Start by getting all of his passwords and access to anything else that you need, phone, tablets, computer, etc. Who knows what else he's hiding. It's his responsibility to prove his innocence as he already has given enough proof that he isn't. It's also his responsibility to give you reasons to stay. He has already given you reasons to leave. Tell him as much.
So welcome to SI. You are also going to get hit with a lot of abbreviations on this site. You can find most of the abbreviations here in the upper left corner in the Healing Library. Please check that section out.
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/library.asp
Read up on the 180 so that you can decide if you want to use it later. It is designed for you to detach and can be found under BS FAQ here:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11
And more 180 info under the target thread here:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=232785
I would also recommend reading these target threads in the Just Found Out forum:
Tactical Primer
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=235051
Great Posts for Newbies to Read
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=361740
Boundaries and Consequences 101 for all new BS
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=385631
Before You Say Reconcile...
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=406548
For the foggy, unremorseful, cake eaters:
20/20 Hindsight: What I should have done when I J F O
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=446349
Please read these as well as prep for any sort of upcoming confrontation that you may have with him:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/confrontation/no_contact.asp
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/healing_library/confrontation/boundaries.asp
Very sorry you find yourself here Miss P but welcome to over 40,000 of your new best friends. We are here for you. Keep reading. Keep posting.
yop