Ay yi yi.
Transparency will be our undoing, I swear.
WSAH has agreed to complete transparency, and has been willingly and (almost entirely) happily providing whatever access or info I've requested with no delay. We are on the same page with this after our initial struggles.
We are still trying to work through a disagreement regarding logistics though.
Back when my monitoring was stealth, I originally installed eBlaster on his phone, but that stopped working. After dealing with the transparency issue this winter, WSAH signed us up, on his own, for Family Locator. That was a lovely deposit for me - but it never worked right and either couldn't locate his phone or gave such a huge area it was useless. Have been using his google account, with his knowledge, to check his location history and locate his device - but again, both are really wonky and unreliable.
Our inability to find a reliable location tracker is frustrating to us both, but definitely has a bigger impact on me - especially when something else has triggered me and his location tracking puts him in all sorts of weird locations that only add to my doubts. (FWIW, when I am not triggering, I see these weird blips - like showing him biking for two minutes in the middle of a lake 10 miles away - and I'm just annoyed. They happen when I am with him too, so unless it's a situation when I am feeling very much at risk, I try to blame it on technology.).
I feel that a remorseful spouse working towards R, knowing how often this causes me additional anxiety when I am triggered, wouldn't rest until his BW had a reliable and consistent method of locating him in her hands.
WSAH's therapist, a CSAT who has caused me significant trauma himself via his treatment methods, thinks WSAH should in no way facilitate my "gathering of information." That it is fine if I do it, but WSAH shouldn't assist me or look for ways to provide the info to me. He believes this is co-dependent and is encouraging WSAH to disengage from the whole process, while still being transparent to any means of monitoring I choose.
So...I get mad that this is still a problem how many months later and that WSAH hasn't done much to seek out a solution after the one morning he signed up for FL. This causes trouble at least two-three times per month and it adds to my sense that WSAH is not yet truly (or maybe I should say 'fully') remorseful yet and working towards keeping me safe.
WSAH is confused because he understands my opinion but is worried that by becoming involved in finding an actual tracking tool that works, he is being co-dependent or doing something for my healing that he should not be involved with at all.
So...whaddya think? Help us, please!