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HFSSC posted 6/30/2014 21:27 PM


Okay, first of all I want to Mae it clear that this not a work out of home mom vs SAHM issue, although that is a part of it. My sister and SIL (brother's wife) are both home schooling. My sister is a piano teacher and plays at my church on Sundays as a paid position, so she isn't currently a SAHM. I know they don't sit around eating bonbons.


My brother's oldest two boys (he has 5 kids ranging from 28 to 7) are expecting. His oldest is the one who got married in March in a spectacular red neck fashion. She was already pg then. The ladies at my church were gracious enough to throw them a shower even though my nephew attended sporadically over 6 years ago and the bride had never attended. So now it's baby shower time. I had mentioned several months ago to my SIL that it would be nice to have a family get together and celebrate both babies. The ladies at my church offered to do a baby shower as well. When I asked niece-in-law about it, she said her friends were doing a shower and maybe we could just invite the church ladies to that one and not have 2 showers. So I suggested she send an invitation for the church to me and I would announce and post it there. That's not horribly out of the norm's a little country church without a whole lot of politics or propriety.

However, in the true spirit of my family it has become a massive clusterfuck. My mother seems to be deliberately confusing all of the details and keeps sending me directives as though I am in charge of the shower. She has decided to invite my ex-BIL's new girlfriend, as though this would be an appropriate time to introduce her to the family. (He D'ed my foster sister last year due to a non-OT situation) Also, my mom sent a fb message to our church clerk demanding the phone # and address of every woman in the church.

Sooooo... tonight my SIL called me. At 9:15 pm. To tell me that she just talked to my nephew and apparently NIL is giving her own baby shower because her friend backed out. And basically tried to lay it in my lap to figure out what to do. And I'm freaking pissed. I work full time in a salaried job where I routinely work well over the 40 hrs that I am paid for. I have a part time job that I work up to ten hours a week some weeks. And I am the music director at my church as well as teaching Sunday school. I spend a minimum of ten hours a week on church related duties including preparing the music, studying lessons, choir practice and attending services Sunday am and pm and Wednesday nights. This is not my son/DIL. I love them both and feel bad for my NIL if this friend dumped this on her. But I don't understand why my SIL thinks I should be in the middle of this.

I told her that and she got snippy. "Well, you were the one who had said you'd like to do a family baby shower." Yeah. 2 months ago I said that. And I called my brother and/or SIL every single day for 2 weeks, got voicemail. SIL is so busy she can't answer the phone or call me back. But at 9:15 pm I'm supposed to drop everything and help plan a baby shower????

Yeah, I don't think so either.

[This message edited by HFSSC at 9:28 PM, June 30th (Monday)]

Jrazz posted 6/30/2014 23:24 PM

It's amazing how some people will put culpability on anyone even if they are requesting the ridiculous.



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