I'm really sorry you qualify for membership in SI, but since you do, I'm glad you found us. Be sure to check out the Healing Library and threads that show bull's eyes in JFO.
I suggest thinking about your motivation for asking your questions.
If you think an answer will help you heal, ask your Q, whatever it is.
If you think you're asking to make him feel bad, instead of asking a Q, try out saying something like, 'I'm furious that you did (fill in the blank)!' That may be more satisfying to you.
IMO, you'll probably have multiple goals for many questions. Go with the more important one - if you mainly want info, ask; If you mainly want to shame him, don't ask.
Remember that you can't unlearn what you hear, so be sure you want an answer if you ask the question - but don't hold back if you want the answer.
Now is a time to test your WS's willingness to meet your needs. Don't stifle yourself.
Don't worry about asking the same question multiple times. The answers are often so awful that they can't be taken in at once.
Your H's desire not to talk about his A seems normal to me. His willingness to answer is a strong positive for R, IMO.