It's only been two days since I sent the NC email, so I knew this was coming. He basically apologized again for the hurt he caused and he apologized to my husband and the rest of my family. He are work colleagues, so he offered me alternative people I can contact when I need to work with his organization. And, he said he didn't expect a response and that he won't contact me again. I read it; I deleted it; I deleted it from my trash bin. It sat in my inbox for less than 5 minutes.
Did I do okay? I sensed this was coming, and I actually feel relieved. I immediately told my H exactly what I told all of you. Should I have saved it for my husband to read? Should I have forwarded it to my husband?
I want to start our reconciliation off on the right foot and I am committed to the NC agreement. It's over; completely over.
I know this is normal and I just have to accept it, but it is really hard when my H lashes out at me. really hard. I know I have a lot more of it coming, maybe several months. When he lashes out at me, it's like a crescendo and I can feel it coming, and it is so awful. He hasn't called me names, but basically I'm a whore. I'm not defending myself or saying anything when he does this. I'm just listening and nodding my head. I'm not telling him to stop or anything like that. I'm just telling you all that it is really awful. I know I brought this upon myself and I only have myself to blame.
[This message edited by tangledknot at 2:07 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]