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sparkysable posted 7/1/2014 15:21 PM

I know of someone whose husband is cheating on her, and she has no idea. I want to tell her, but I'm not sure how to go about it.

UndecidedinMA posted 7/1/2014 16:13 PM

I would only send it if you can also send concrete proof. If you have pix, emails or something along those lines.

Otherwise it is just an anonymous latter he can blow off with a little explanation. It's from some kind of enemy, disgruntled coworker, just about anyone he had a beef with.

sparkysable posted 7/1/2014 19:02 PM

Ugh I do not have concrete proof. Just the word of a coworker who works with both the WW and the OM. Apparently WW has bragged about it to coworker and coworker doesn't want to get involved. I just think the BW and BH deserve to know.

Sleepingbeauty posted 7/1/2014 20:45 PM

I say tell. As you know most BS have a gut instinct anyway. They may blow the letter off but it will open their eyes and they may look at things differently.

MammaMia posted 7/1/2014 20:48 PM

Yes, the BS DOES deserve to know. I wish somebody had sent me an anonymous letter....I would have started watching H and OW sooner than I did.

Do send the anonymous letter and explain to the wife exactly what you posted here. That you have no concrete evidence only the word of a coworker because the slut has bragged about it.
Let the BS figure out what to do with it. If she is smart, she will be watching him like a hawk.

ShockedBird posted 7/1/2014 20:59 PM

I am a BW and was told by the OW's BH. He had an email he offered me as proof of the affair. It forced my WH to admit everything on the spot. No lies or half truths.
If you think it is appropriate, you may want to reach out to the cheating spouses (either in person or anonymously). I don't know the details of the situation, but if the co-worker told you about the affair, chances are that you are not the only person to have heard about it. If you could let the cheating spouses know that others are aware of the affair and that sooner or later the news will make it back to their spouses, it may encourage them to come clean on their own. For many BSs the lies hurt more than the actual cheating, and the longer it goes on the more it will hurt the BSs when they finally do find out.
Then again, if you think that the cheating partners are the types who will try to cover their tracks, then alerting them to your knowledge may only make them more cautious. It's a tough call. You'll have to go with your gut.
I'll be thinking of you and I wish you luck. It's terrible that you are carrying the burden of other people's lies.