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Numb2014 posted 7/2/2014 10:10 AM

I have lost 4lbs since Sunday. I still wake up sick. He sleeps with a smile on his face. The next 47 days cannot come fast enough...

strongerdaybyday posted 7/2/2014 10:34 AM

Hi there,

I'm sorry you're going through this. It must be hard to eat (i know for me it was). Can you handle even a meal supplement/replacement drink? To ensure you're getting nutrients/etc.

I'm not sure what's happening in the 47 days but I hope it's what you need to help you heal.


KeepCalm_CarryOn posted 7/2/2014 10:34 AM

It's tough. I remember right after D-day, when I would see my husband sleeping peacefully, I just wanted to kick him!

Maybe do something special for youself today?

seethelight posted 7/2/2014 10:40 AM

When I was going through the same anguish as you, awake all night and literally wasting away. My wayward was also sleeping like a baby.

When I confronted him about that, he said it was because he was glad it was over.

He was looking for a way to dump the OW, but she kept threatening to out him to me.

When he was already outed, it was easy for him to dump her because he never loved her. It was just an affair to him, and she initially insisted she only wanted an affair.

So maybe it's a good sign.

Embers2Fire posted 7/2/2014 10:47 AM

Losing weight and not eating or sleeping is normal after this type of betrayal and trauma. I would see a doctor ASAP and get on some sleep aids. You have a difficult road ahead of you and some difficult decisions to make in the coming weeks, so having a fully rested mind and body is of utmost importance.My XWH also slept like a rock as if he had not a worry in the world. The best thing you can do is get something to help you rest from this nightmare that is now your life. I wish you all the best.

BlueBlueEyes posted 7/2/2014 10:48 AM

It was the same for me. I felt like I was the crazy one and he could sleep! When I returned from Afghanistan, one of the counselors used the phrase, "it's a normal reaction to an ABNORMAL situation." I just kept telling myself, I'm reacting to an abnormal situation. You just found out. He's known all of this for a while.

Tigaress posted 7/2/2014 10:51 AM

I don't even know how you do it! The first thing I did when I found out was that I kicked the lying cheater out. Does he at least sleep on the couch? I think he has no right to the marital bed after what he has done. If you don't have a couch then he can sleep on the floor, that's still too good for him. And maybe that would help you to get some rest!

BlueBlueEyes posted 7/2/2014 10:54 AM

I kicked my husband out too. Then I prayed for two days and decided that if I wasn't completely positive it was over (and hesitant to make a life change during a crisis of emotion) we needed to try to be together and work on things. I did not say that I could handle it and did not commit to stay in the marriage until a month of communication had occured. There are still panic periods throughout the day and I'm 5 weeks out at this point.

Tigaress posted 7/2/2014 11:03 AM

You have a big heart and you love the guy ... but I'm worried that he thinks you already forgave him? Honestly, if you are losing weight and feeling sick something is not right. I think he needs to move in the guest room (or the attic, or basement, you know where I'm coming from). I'm not a guy but what I've seen a lot is that they don't respect what they don't have to fight for. He seems to have gotten your forgiveness much too easily? Big hug for you, hope you're feeling better !!

Numb2014 posted 7/2/2014 11:06 AM

I have tried kicking him out of the marital bed. I've locked him out, etc, and he just beats on the door all night long. at this point, it was choose your battles. we sleep with a body pillow between us. I will post my whole story soon....

Sunnydaysahead posted 7/2/2014 11:59 AM


Looking back, the only good part about the last two months is the weight loss...although it certainly isn't worth the physical toll. I find it amazing they can sleep peacefully while we are falling apart.

I have been reading your posts, so sorry for all of the pain he has put you through. Sending good thoughts your way, stay strong!!

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