A few months after he moved back in, he sent me a text that made no sense. Something about I look cuter with my messy hair. I texted him back "what" and about 20 mins later he text back saying something lame like "I was half asleep when I text that, sorry...part of my dream I guess". I checked phone records, and he had been texting a number right before and right after he sent me that text. I called the number, it was a girl. I hung up, didn't say anything. I was in denial. I thought if I worked harder he would stop. Then I found a text from the current OW back in 2012. All of his texts start with "Hey beautiful!". Ask me the last time he told me I was beautiful.....Well, I confronted, he tells me that he calls all the guys in school "bro" and all the girls "beautiful" then he says "Have you SEEN her!? Come on babe, she is FAR from beautiful". That was in 2012.
In 2013 I found texts between him and ANOTHER woman. MAJOR flirting and hints of meeting up for "something more inappropriate"-their words, not mine. I confronted him on that one, he cried, begged and pleaded for me to not leave him, he didn't know why he went along with it, he just enjoyed the attention, and he would work on our relationship from here on out. May 2013 is when that was.
I found letters and emails from this current OW all this time as well. And to be honest, its not like he went from a 10 to a 2. He went from a 10 to a NEGATIVE (-) 12. That's how bad it is. When I first saw OW picture, I was in utter shock. Like....REALLY!? It makes not sense to me. But, she is smart. She graduated with honors, and she does his papers for him. She is the reason he has a 4.0 in Nursing school. So, he is using her. And she will find out very soon. I do believe he will make it work with her until he is financially stable on his own, and even then, if he chooses to stay with her, it will be to prove he didn't through a good woman away for nothing.
So that is the jist of our relationship. Not good. I know I am better off. I know he is a serial cheater, and he will be cheating on her too. and that I am better off. one day at a time though...
I'm glad you know you are better off without him. That doesn't make infidelity any easier to deal with. I remember about 20 years ago a coworker filed for divorce. She was hurting and said she didn't feel she deserved to hurt because she was the one pulling the plug on the M. I didn't agree with her then, and after being here, I disagree even more.
Your life as you know it has died. Mourn it. Then embrace yourself and your future. You will survive. You can thrive!
Be diligent and don't let him suck (hoover) you back in with sweet talk. Remind yourself where you have been these last 5 years. Time to break the cycle.
Welcome and I hope you find comfort and healing here.
