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Tee-hee...it's the little things

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tesla posted 7/2/2014 22:23 PM

Nothing big...just amusing. Had my midweek visit with Teslet. I am in the habit of turning on my phone video and bringing the phone up to the door...just in case. Teslet comes out with a bag. As we walk to the car, he says, "Stripper whore says I can bring this to our house but I have to bring it back tonight." Uh, ok. But we aren't going to the house, I have other stuff planned. So I look in the bag. It's two x-box video games and some kind of x-box sensor device...I recognize it only because Teslen has an x-box game system at the house. Anyway, no way in hell am I taking that...next thing you know I'll be accused of breaking in the house and stealing it. So I go back, hand it back to stripper whore and tell her, thank you, but we won't be needing this tonight.
She looked genuinely confused. Seriously, is it that hard to think outside the x-box and figure out something else to do with a kid for a few hours?
As we are heading toward the beach (to ride bikes and play in the sand), Teslet is telling me about how the chickens are starting to kill each other. I guess one of them lost a leg and he says you can see the bone??!!
Anyway, at the beach, Teslet is rolling around in sand...seeing how much he can balance on his head...getting it in every crevice. Then he decides that he wants to take some sand back to dad's. (I always let him bring some back...he likes to do 'experiments'.) I tell him that maybe stripper whore would not appreciate having to clean up the already very sandy mess he is bringing back. He says, "Mom, don't worry, I can find a container and keep it under my bed there. It will be fine."
Meh. What the hell, kid. How much sand can you stuff in those jean pockets?
The answer is, a surprisingly large amount.
His month is almost up...I cannot wait to get him back home.

nekorb posted 7/2/2014 22:29 PM

badmedicine posted 7/2/2014 22:59 PM

I love this story!! The sand in the jean pockets and the "experiments"..hilarious. Glad you got some laughs with your kiddo.

GabyBaby posted 7/2/2014 23:05 PM

GabyBaby posted 7/2/2014 23:06 PM

(Oh...and good call on not keeping the bag. I agree that it would have turned up "broken" and all your fault of course).

StillLivin posted 7/2/2014 23:13 PM

IrishLass518 posted 7/3/2014 00:12 AM

I love this

SBB posted 7/3/2014 05:59 AM

Seriously, is it that hard to think outside the x-box and figure out something else to do with a kid for a few hours?

Outside the x-box. I love it!!

sparkysable posted 7/3/2014 07:36 AM

I don't know how all this sand got everywhere

Also, good call on bringing that game system back. I wouldn't take any chances with those two assholes.

FaithFool posted 7/3/2014 11:16 AM

Good lord, I'd call the SPCA about that poor chicken...

Kajem posted 7/3/2014 11:57 AM

I agree returning the electronics was the right thing to do. I wouldn't put it past them to call the police and accuse you of stealing those things from his house.

When is his time up?

Sounds like I'm asking about a jail sentence. Sheesh.

K

ButterflyGirl posted 7/3/2014 12:15 PM

Yea, I'm getting a little emotional over the chicken here. Losing my life in ex-shat's yard sounds like the worst place to die.

Or was it the living room?

solus sto posted 7/3/2014 19:11 PM

Bravo. Nothing like boys and sand and pockets and experiments

tesla posted 7/5/2014 13:24 PM

I called Teslet last night...ALWAYS call his dad's phone...but it ALWAYS goes to VM. I ALWAYS sound uber*pleasant and lately, I've taken to talking in light accents...mainly because I'm amused by the strangest things.

So, eventually I get the return call from stripper whore's phone (this happens often as ex-shat really isn't around much). Interestingly, when Teslet calls from his dad's phone, the phone call lasts less than a minute. Now, if you knew my kid IRL, you would quickly discover that he could talk the paint off of walls....he talks sooooooo much. When the call comes from stripper whore's phone, I actually have to tell him after 20 minutes, that we really need to hang up now.

Anyway, I'm enjoying listening to him go on about everything under the sun when he says, "Mom, auntie found my sand and put it somewhere but I don't know where it is." I said something to the effect of, "Oh, I'm sure it's somewhere safe." When suddenly Teslet says, "Oh, it's ok mom, stripper whore just showed me where it is! But she won't let me do experiments with it."

Let me tell you what his last sand experiment entailed at my house...agave nectar, syrup, vinegar, flour, sugar, and bits of leaves and dirt collected outside. This mixture was created in 3 or 4 different concentrations and stored lovingly in the freezer to see what would happen.

I'm a big believer in the messier the childhood, the better.

persevere posted 7/5/2014 13:28 PM

Great post tesla - hope Teslet brings his sand home so he can do his experiments.

LifeIsBroken posted 7/6/2014 00:04 AM

Tesla, you are such a good mom. I admire your restraint in dealing with Teslet's father & the stripper-whore; you deserve an award for always taking the high road to protect your son from having to deal with who his father really is. One day he will realize which parent deserves his love and respect and it won't be his father. I so enjoy reading your posts like this one, though…. little 'wins' that put a smile on my face. Thank you !

peridot posted 7/6/2014 00:38 AM

Let me tell you what his last sand experiment entailed at my house...agave nectar, syrup, vinegar, flour, sugar, and bits of leaves and dirt collected outside. This mixture was created in 3 or 4 different concentrations and stored lovingly in the freezer to see what would happen.

Lol

h0peless posted 7/6/2014 01:05 AM

That reminds me of the time my Mom let me bake a bread pan full of mud and sea shells in the oven to see if I could make fossils. I always smile when I think of that. Teslet is going to have some awesome memories when he gets older.

caregiver9000 posted 7/6/2014 01:11 AM

Omg... the experiment!! You are a brave woman and obviously teslet got very lucky in the mom department!!!!

Can you get him to tell you (so you can tell us) what he hopes to learn/happen with the ingredients he selects? Curious minds want to know!!

Waiting4Daylite posted 7/6/2014 04:19 AM

Maybe auntie put the sand away so that none got on stripper-whore's pole.

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