It's awful. Now, when I hear an unremorseful WW has left for her AP and is claiming abuse, especially emotional abuse, I take it with a big pinch of salt and assume it's part of a smear campaign,unless I know otherwise.
But only those of us who have been through this know better.
According to The Arse I have been "so cruel" to him by:
- "nagging" him [translation: asked him to do what he said he would ].
- I made all the decisions [translation: he made all the decisions he wanted to make,especially about things he wanted to do, and REFUSED to make or be involved in any other decisions, always saying "it's up to you" and got angry if I kept pressing to know what he thought]
- Never letting him go out with his mates [translation: he went out MUCH more often than me and spent MUCH more money (I was always given a strict budget of £20, he could spend between £50-100). I hardly ever went out, not by choice, but because he wouldn't get a babysitter if it was just for me, he didn't like being at home while I was out & would do passive resistance the next couple of days to 'punish' me]
- We never had sex {translation: yes we did
, more in fact, during his A!]
There's more, but you get the picture?
He's not exactly claiming emotional abuse, but he needed a 'reason' to cheat. It seems like many unremorseful spouses do the same, but some take it to the next level, and once you've said it, as a liar, you can hardly go back and admit the lie, can you?
Those who are truly your friends will know. And you will discover who they are. This is the painful bit. But you have no control over what others think of you, and trying to challenge your WW's poison, will only add to her words and make you appear bonkers.