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OW dreams?

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goingthru posted 7/3/2014 05:42 AM

I keep having dreams about the OW and my H. Nothing graphic, but I'm either yelling and screaming at her, full of rage, or he is ignoring me and focusing on her while I stand around helplessly. Whenever I wake up from one of these, it feels like Dday all over again. Anyone else out there have these sorts of dreams? I wonder if there is something that I can do to make them stop.

AML04 posted 7/3/2014 05:51 AM

I do. They've lessened with time but they still really shake me up.


Ann124 posted 7/3/2014 07:32 AM


I am four years out from D-day. I also had similar dreams as you are describing. On occasion, even after our divorce, I still have the same dream. The dream has faded and is not as frequent, however, I have found that if I focus on all the positive aspects of my day (present or the next upcoming day) right before I go to bed keeps my dreams on the side of the good things I have currently going on for me.

This is difficult as when your sleeping your subconscious likes to trigger you ... Start keeping a journal to vent in during the day and concentrate on the positive before going to sleep ... I hope this helps you!

DrJekyll posted 7/3/2014 07:39 AM

Your subconscious is definitely trying to tell you something. Try to figure out what it is really telling you.

funnyguy posted 7/3/2014 07:42 AM

I am 8 months out and I get them everynight, its terrible. I try and think of he good things just before bed . But I have trouble sleeping. I got some axiety /sleeping pills from the doctor and the past fewdays its been a little better

musiclovingmom posted 7/3/2014 07:58 AM

I did. I even had one where OW2 was stabbing me repeatedly and H just stood there doing nothing despite me begging for his help. I'm almost two years out now and haven't had one in months. Hugs to you!

Didact posted 7/3/2014 08:30 AM

My biggest issue with dreams has always been waking up and remembering that I am living the nightmare.

I still have dreams about her and OM. Or her and some new OM. Or her and some stranger(s).

The consistent thread in every dream is that she a) desires them more and b) is absolutely indifferent to my pain. For me at least, the dreams are telling me what I fear the most.

38years posted 7/3/2014 08:45 AM

I've only had one in the 6 months since DDay that I can recall. In it, OW & adult daughter showed up at our home, and WS let her in (I know the slut, she's ex- wife of WS 1st cousin). I couldn't stand to be in the room, so I stood in the hall while she & her daughter were in the living room talking. In my dream, OW said, "This should all be mine. I don't care anything about WS, I just want his $$. I like to act all clueless and naive, but I know exactly what I am doing.

My thrashing around and mumbling in my sleep woke WS. When he asked me what was wrong, I told him about the dream. It seemed to be the 1st time he had an inkling of her motivation.

We had made the decision to R and be more open with each other, so I tell him when I am triggering, etc. Telling him about the dream was helpful, for me. I guess it depends on each situation, but that has works for us.

Lovedyoumore posted 7/3/2014 11:48 AM

Yes. Explicit and not. Ones of her trying to take my baby(he's over 25), her trying to take my car, her with my H while I walk in a fog trying to find them, her moving in my house, her telling others about how bad I am, etc. I wake up feeling horrible. One thing I have found out about taking ambien for sleep, I rarely have any memorable dreams. For me, that has been a welcome side effect.

DTERMINED2SURVIV posted 7/5/2014 18:46 PM

I strangle the life out of ow in my dreams. Then I go to jail. Just about every dream I have of her is like that....Kind of weird.

Ashland13 posted 7/5/2014 18:56 PM

Yes, I had dreams of OW from about 8 months to a year. Horrible. But gone.

TheGivingTree posted 7/5/2014 20:40 PM

Had one last night. She brought a 4 year old OC to meet my H in the dream (impossible since he had a vasectomy 10 years ago), and in the dream he also had a secret personal mailbox and a secret safe deposit box. However, I got the best of them in the dream, as I intercepted her mail to him and took the $4,000 she gave him. It is very disconcerting to have these types of dreams, and I wish I could make them stop.

Schadenfreude posted 7/5/2014 20:51 PM

Two dreams of W's infidelity. One with a strange man on a tropical beach and the other with her long time girlfriend at a cottage Both real time, full color, time and space correct. Woke up in cold sweat with my heart pounding only to find I wasn't in the tropics (#1) or vacationing closer to home (#2). I know these reflect underlying insecurities. But unlike most dreams, they looked and sounded entirely real. Very spooky.

hopefull77 posted 7/5/2014 22:29 PM

Never not even one...I think God is letting me sleep in peace..because He knows that she is part of my daytime nightmares...but thank God they have subsided...
she needs to become a NOTHING....absolutely NOTHING!!

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